Purposeful Growth

The question, “Who am I?” attracts each of us at some time in our lives. The human quest for meaning and purpose in life begins with asking this question, and is unsuccessful until answered.

Meditation is the normal means for gaining this insight–and it’s a wonderful path to self understanding. Yet many people find it very difficult to meditate. The Western culture is action oriented. We surround ourselves with lots of activities and lots of outside input in the form of radio, TV, cell phones, pagers, palm pilots, etc.

Bombarded with outside noise, we find it very difficult to devote time to being alone with ourselves. When we try, we find ourselves tuned in to a barrage of thoughts bouncing around our minds. Meditation requires finding a place where thoughts are absent–and this is tough to do for many people.

But there is a way to gain some measure of self-understanding, even if meditation hasn’t been effective. Look around. The environment we each create for ourselves mirrors who we are being, because that’s where we’re most comfortable. So a good first step toward answering the “Who am I?” question is to observe your surroundings.

Does your home stimulate activity or reflection? Do your friends stimulate conflict, peace, reflection, action, love, anger, frustration, …You get the picture.

Without judging yourself, look around you and see your surroundings. You have created this environment, consciously or subconsciously. It mirrors who you are now being, not who you wish to be, nor who you could be, but who you are now.

What does it tell you?

Jerry

The New York Times > Health > Mental Health & Behavior > Fear in the Workplace: The Bullying Boss

This interesting article in the New York Times, about bullying bosses got me to thinking about my bosses over the years. I vividly recall one boss, Gordon, who was an aggressive and volatile bully. I can still recall watching him publicly dress down an employee; this brutal display of power and lack of respect for another still sticks with me as a vivid and distasteful image–after more than forty years! We worked hard for Gordon out of fear for similar treatment. But I wouldn’t say we were as productive as we could be. We worked to stay out of trouble, not to do well for our customers. There’s a big difference.

I can also recall working for more passive bullies, such as Bob. Bob was smart, had a compassionate streak, but could cut you to ribbons with his words. I think he always meant well, for he sincerely believed in the business we were in. But he could be a terror, too. I recall one time, a few of us played a small practical joke on him; we shifted his desk drawers around while he was away, even moving some to the back of our work area. He didn’t say a word when he discovered it, just went around picking up and putting things together again. He emitted a powerful, though silent anger which stifled any humor we anticipated from our joke. We worked hard to please Bob. He didn’t grant praise often, so his praise was unusual and treasured.

I’ve also worked for benevolent bosses, those who you just knew would be supportive of you no matter what you did. For these bosses, I worked more creatively and fearlessly. I took more chances and stretched much farther because I didn’t fear making a mistake.

The Times article indicates research, surprisingly, found that employees were nearly as productive for bullying bosses as supportive bosses. I find that hard to believe based on my personal experiences.

I’m interested in your experiences with bullying bosses.

Jerry