Purposeful Growth

Does living peacefully mean I can never be angry? If I become angry have I failed to be peaceful?
Anger is a human emotion. Peace is a state of being. They are not mutually exclusive. I can live peacefully, even when the emotion of anger overtakes me if I resolve my anger without harm to another.

Anger is always about me, not the other person. I may blame another for my anger, but that blame is misplaced. Anger is mine. It is my choice, though perhaps a subconscious choice, to become angry in response to another’s words or actions.

Yoda, the wise Jedi of Star Wars said it best, “Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.” Fear leads to anger, so anger is always fear based. When I recognize and acknowledge that my anger results from something I fear, I find the anger diminishes significantly. The energy of anger and the fear that sponsored it diminish markedly with the simple acknowledging statement, “I’m angry because I’m afraid that…”

Living peacefully doesn’t require that I never become angry. It merely requires that I handle my anger as my anger, not someone else’s responsibility. This is not always easy. But it’s always appropriate. The next time you find yourself becoming angry, take a few seconds to reflect on what you may be fearing. Then acknowledge the fear and watch your anger diminish.

The next time someone becomes angry in your presence, see if you can discern the fear that feeds their anger. Helping them see and acknowledge this fear will diffuse the anger and let them know you hear.

Jerry

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 19th, 2005 at 7:59 am and is filed under Peacefulness, Unafraid, Tools. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Responses are currently closed, but you can trackback from your own site.