Author Suggests Making Heroes of Peacemakers
Sunday, October 23rd, 2005Author Lisa Earle McLeod, in an article published last month by the Gwinnett (Ga.) Daily Post opens with “We women have entered into an unspoken, but very well-known and completely dysfunctional conspiracy with our own men. We want them to be big strong heroes, yet we criticize them when they resort to violence.” McLeod goes on to say “We could decide that peace was sexy,” and “If we decided to rewrite the job description of a hero, the world would change overnight.”
Peace is sexy. What a novel idea. Ms. McLeod graciously consented to this interview.
Living Peace: In your column, you imply that women’s expectations of their men are a source of men’s violent behaviors, ultimately a source of war. Please amplify that thought.
McLeod: Women underestimate the influence they have over the men they love. Most men, in their hearts, truly want to please the women they love. There’s something very exciting to a woman about a man’s strength. When a woman has children it puts you in a very vulnerable position, physically and economically. I think women are wired to know that the big, strong man will be the protector. But if we start thinking about what will really keep us and our children safe, we’re going to have to refine that view to include intellectual strength.
Living Peace: In your column, you indicate that if women decided that peace was sexy it could change the course of history. Can you describe how you see peace being sexy and how you would convey that to men?
McLeod: I spoke at the September Department of Peace Conference and I spoke about making peace sexy, and that was really fun. Women know how to drop hints about what they want. If women would have conversations with their men that say, “Can you imagine how excited we women would be if you men figured out a way to quit killing each other? You want to be my hero? You want to sweep me off my feet? It would really make you my hero if we could create a generation that thought war was insane.”
Living Peace: What reactions have you received to your column?
McLeod: For the most part I’ve had very positive reactions, because I come from a position that is very supportive of the military. I come from a long line of military men. People can hear the support I have for the military. Being a peace activist is very different from being an anti-war activist. As I talk to people about the Department of Peace they get very excited. The strong reactions I get are from people who believe peace activism equates to anti-war activism. Many people believe that force is the only solution. It saddens me to think they believe there is only one option to dealing with evil. In no way does making peacemakers heroes diminish the value of the military. We need both, not either one or the other.
Living Peace: What advice would you like to give to Laura Bush?
McLeod: A president’s spouse has one important job and that is to support their spouse in being the best president they can. A female spouse plays an incredibly important role in communicating a mother’s point of view. If I were to have a conversation with Laura Bush, one of the things I would want to ask her is how she is supporting her husband in helping him learn to protect every mother’s child. If Laura Bush said to her husband, “You know what my idea of a hero would be? It would be the man who could create peace.” All we have to do is start, and that’s what Laura Bush could tell her husband, “I would like you to become a hero by starting.”
Living Peace: What advice might you give to Living Peace members who want to create a peaceful environment in their homes and relationships?
McLeod: If you do nothing else but simply have a discussion with the men in your life about what a hero would look like to you. And with stars in your eyes say, “My kind of hero is the man who figures out a way for us to keep from killing each other.” If every woman in America did that it would change overnight.
Lisa McLeod is a nationally recognized speaker and the author of Forget Perfect: Finding Joy, Meaning, and Satisfaction in the Life You’ve Already Got. Her web site is www.ForgetPerfect.com.
For a fascinating look at an eleven year old girl’s view of war, go to http://www.forgetperfect.com/columns/04_dec_24.htm. From the mouths of babes…
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