The Secret of Successful New Year Resolutions
The New Year—2006—a time of hope and renewal. A fresh start. At this time of year, many of us will look back at our lives and decide to change some things; eat healthy, lose weight, gain a new skill, improve a relationship, etc. The retail industry is well aware of this tendency; January ads feature sales on exercise equipment, organizing supplies, weight-loss programs, and other products and services linked to personal change.
The New Year Resolution is a fixture in our lives, perhaps even an obligation to many. Yet most New Year’s resolutions fail within a few weeks. There are many reasons for this, of course. Some resolutions are insincere. Some are capitulations to pressure from a spouse or significant other. Some are guilt driven “shoulds,” doomed to wither silently and quickly because we didn’t really want to make the change.
The word resolution stems from resolve, defined in Webster’s Collegiate as fixity of purpose. To resolve is to commit, to fully intend. Many resolutions fail because they are not authentic commitments. But what of those resolutions that seem to fail despite our commitment? What of those instances in which we sincerely desire a change, yet still fail to achieve the resolution?
The answer is that we’re likely attracting exactly what we really want though we may not be aware of it. The Law of Attraction always works. We attract into our lives events and circumstances aligned with the energy we radiate. When I resolve to lose 20 pounds, yet think longingly of having that second piece of pumpkin pie, I send a mixed signal. It shouldn’t surprise me that I receive mixed results—some periods of healthy eating followed by some periods of unhealthy indulgence.
There is always a payoff—a benefit—to our behaviors; to behave otherwise would be irrational and human beings are rational. Even when it doesn’t seem that we are, we always behave in ways that are appropriate to how we see ourselves in the world.
So to use the Law of Attraction to the benefit of sincere New Year’s Resolutions, follow these steps:
1. Accept that the circumstance you want to change was an appropriate circumstance for you in the past—but is no longer necessary or appropriate. Determine the benefit you received from the behavior you wish to change; you may have to search a bit for this as it may be hidden deeply within your early childhood development.
2. Commit to the change. If you can’t sincerely commit then stop right here; the change attempt will fail anyway so you might as well abort it consciously and avoid feelings of guilt or failure.
3. Focus your thinking on the benefits of achieving your resolution. See yourself at a new weight, a new level of energy, or a new level of health. Make sure you focus on the positive end result you resolve to achieve and on the benefits you’ll receive. To make sure you are not sending mixed signals, find some way to achieve the benefit you were receiving from the behavior you wish to abandon (from step 1). In the best of all situations, your new behavior will also provide the benefit your old behavior provided. If it doesn’t, you’ll want to find some new way to gain that benefit; otherwise, you’ll long for it, think about it, and bring it into your life through lapses into the behavior you’re trying to abandon.
When your thinking and feeling are focused continually on the positive end result you desire, it will happen—the Law of Attraction guarantees it. Now is the time to re-consider your New Year’s Resolutions. Are you committed? If so, follow the three steps I’ve outlined and enjoy the new you.