Being or Doing?
We all want a life that fulfills–a life of joy and meaning. The quest for a meaningful, joyous, fulfilling life begins with purpose. Most of us get this backwards, spending the majority of our lives doing things and the latter years seeking the purpose behind our doing-ness.
In my Life Purpose coaching practice I find myself returning time and time again to the distinctions between being and doing. Most people search for purpose in doing-ness, but purpose is more about being than doing.
Joy and fulfillment feelings come from who we are being; we experience who we are being in the things we do. So being comes first. Consciously choosing who we are being allows us to select doing-things that align with purpose.
Being is a state of existence. We are always in some state of existence; My state of existence just now bounces between reflecting and creating. I reflect on my ideas and I create word pictures to express my ideas. As I write this I probably pass through dozens of states of existence, including frustration as I work to clearly express my point.
Any adult who attended public or private education has experienced clear examples of the distinction between being and doing. Think about teachers you had who inspired you to learn; these were the teachers whose classes were enjoyable, interesting, and in which the time passed quickly. You probably had a small number of these teachers.
Now think about other teachers, those whose classes were boring, dull, and a waste of time. Their classes seemed to go on forever and you probably filled the class time with doodles and thoughts of other things. You likely had a larger number of these teachers.
The former teachers, those you enjoyed, were being teachers. Teaching was a passion and they put everything they had into their teaching. First they were being teaching, then they did teaching. You could feel their joy and fulfillment.
The latter teachers were simply doing teaching. They weren’t passionate, energetic, or completely involved. They were just doing the thing called teaching. You could feel their lack of joy and fulfillment. Sadly, these teachers were not doing things that aligned with purpose. Their students suffered right along with them.
To get a better feel for this distinction and to sharpen your own awareness, watch other people closely. Watch two people having a discussion; are they being inquisitive, argumentative, considerate, helpful, supportive, … get the idea? Now turn that awareness inside; who are you being in your next discussion? In your next decision? In your next mini-crisis at work?
When you consciously choose your states of being in situations and when these states align you with purpose, life becomes much, much easier.
Weekly articles on Personal Development
Jerry
