While writing a recent article for Suite101 about improving relationships in time for the upcoming Holidays, I realized how important commitment is to relationships and specifically to my relationships. Commitment is a very powerful word. It indicates dedication, unquestioned intentions, and non-negotiable allegiance.
Commitment is even more powerful than belief. Belief may be a sponsor of my commitment, but belief is more cerebral, more intellectual, while commitment seems to cement my dedication.
I’m committed to my marriage. Acknowledging that my marriage relationship comes first helps me to prioritize, to separate the important from the urgent, as Steven Covey puts it. And to separate the more important from the less important.
For example: For many years, it was very important for me to be right. I became very good at making others wrong to preserve my need to be right. This need to be right both frustrated and angered my wife because my need to be right, and my much-practiced ability to argue my positions, had the end result of making her wrong.
Thankfully, she was committed to our marriage and worked patiently over the years to convince me that I didn’t have to be right all the time to be loved. Finally, the light bulb came on and I realized that I was compensating for low self esteem by insisting on being right even when I wasn’t.
My commitment to our marriage allowed me to finally crack through this behavior of many years and accept the (many) times when I’m wrong. Now I have a mini-celebration when I find I’ve been wrong about something; not that it’s fun to be wrong, but it’s satisfying to know I can admit to it without feeling I’ve failed in some way.
Reflection on marriage commitment leads me to think about the other commitments in my life. What am I committed to? A few weeks ago I wrote about the value of writing a “This I Believe” essay. Now I’m thinking a “To This I Commit” essay will be even more enlightening and important to my purposeful personal growth. So here’s a start:
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To This I Commit:
I commit to my loved ones that I am and will always be unconditionally loving of them. There is nothing that they will ever do that will cause me to withdraw or withhold my love. This includes unconditional love of myself.
I commit to continuous personal growth, to a journey of personal improvement in my humanity and to becoming the best human being that I can be.
I commit to my health and fitness and to recognizing and honoring my inherent wellness of mind, body, and soul. I feed all three the naturally occurring, healthful energies of good food, exercise, and positive-being, expecting to sustain wellness of mind, body, and soul right up to the instant of my death.
I commit to appreciate life, including each instant of my being. I view life as a journey that is both easy and adventurous, though filled at times with difficulty and sadness. Still, it is life and I commit to never take it for granted.
I commit to non-judgment of others. I accept the behaviors of others as the perfect results of who they are choosing to be, even though I might not choose their behaviors for my own and I might choose to remain apart from them.
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That felt good. Perhaps you’d like to write your own “To This I Commit” essay. If you choose to do so, send a copy to Jerry and I’ll combine submitted essays in a feature article with links back to your Blog.
Find more like this: Beliefs, Love, Personal Development
