Purposeful Growth

Making good decisions is not always easy. We struggle at times to make smart decisions, especially when faced with difficult choices. How do we know which choice to make when none jumps out at us as the right one? What if we make the wrong decision? These and other questions trouble us as we struggle to choose the right one of several alternatives. Following these fundamental rules for making decisions will help.

• Strive for a good decision not a perfect decision:

There’s a tendency to want to make a perfect decision, believing only one of many choices is perfect. But we must recognize that we’re always dealing with a future event when making a decision, and the future is unknown. We can only judge how good a decision is after the fact–after the decision is made and all the circumstances play out.

We should recognize that every decision is an estimate which will be made with incomplete information. The most we can expect of ourselves is to make the best decision we can make given what we know at the time. 

• Clearly define the problem:

Often times the difficulty of decision making is that we’re trying to solve multiple problems but we don’t recognize them as separate, though integrated problems. If we can pinpoint the main problem and identify associated problems our priorities will be set, simplifying our decision process.

• Gather the right information:

First gather the information that pertains to the primary problem. List other information under the secondary problems. This helps us stay focused and prioritized. We must recognize that we will be unable to gather all the information we’d like to have. That’s the nature of decisions; they’re about future events and the future is never completely known. Use the 70% rule, shooting for 70% confidence that we’re making a sound decision.

• Clarify constraints:

Identify the boundaries and constraints that apply to this decision. What are the limits to the authority and abilities that we have? Are there time and money limitations?

• Identify a target timeframe:

Some decision due-dates are clear cut, but many are not. It’s important to know the difference. When a decision is open-ended, with no target or required due date, we tend to put off making a decision until we have more information. Subconsciously we’re probably hoping to gather all the information we need to make a perfect decision.

It’s helpful to set a target time if for no other reason than to complete the task. An open decision can be burdensome, always hanging over our heads awaiting revelation of the right decision.

• Visualize the desired end result:

Imagine the decision is made and you feel proud and satisfied. It’s not important to visualize the effect of the choice we’ve made, just that we made it. Identify how you feel. Do you feel proud and satisfied? Are there other feelings too? What are they?

Associate a reason or reasons for each feeling. If you’re afraid, explore what it is that you’re afraid of. If you’re proud, explore that too.

Exploring feelings and their causes leads us to recognize the factor that our values play in the decision; this is the next rule to consider.

• Honor values:

When our decisions reflect what we value and are aligned with the values most important to us, we have the best chance of feeling positive and at peace with even the most difficult of decisions.

• Use intuition:

As humans we are blessed with powerful analytical abilities, our left-brain functions. We also have an equally powerful intuitive and transcendental capability, our right-brain functions. We should use both to solve difficult problems.

Take a walk or meditate and open yourself to the insight of inner wisdom. Play each of the plausible alternative decisions in your mind and explore your feelings. Which feel right?

• Make a decision:

If we’ve followed all the previous steps it’s probably time to make a decision. Remember that not making a decision is a decision to choose the status quo. Is that the best decision at this time?

Make the decision and live with it. If we’ve followed all the steps above then we can feel comfortable that we’ve done our best. When the future unfolds we may find that there were some opportunities for learning in this experience. If so, learn from them to benefit future decisions.

If you dread annual goal setting at work or you want to make some lifestyle changes but haven’t had much success in the past, you’re not alone. Most goals set as New Year’s resolutions fail. Most lifestyle changing programs of weight loss, smoking cessation, and financial improvement are unsuccessful. Many people struggle when setting goals of life improvement. Following are some common mistakes and what you can do to avoid them.

• Pitfall: Your Goal is too general.

It’s very important that a goal be clear, specific, and unambiguous. A goal to lose weight is too general to provide the motivation and energy needed to change eating habits and begin exercising. Defining an amount to lose is good; determining a target weight is better.

For example, getting a better job is ambiguous. What characterizes a better job? More money, greater satisfaction, fewer hours, shorter commute? These and many other factors can be important to your job satisfaction. Without a clear understanding of the job factors important to you, you’ll either do nothing about a new job or change for the sake of change.

Ask and answer the following question, “How will I know when I get there?” This will help you consider specific end results you’re seeking.

• Pitfall: The goal isn’t really your goal.

Someone influential has foisted a goal on you that you would never set for yourself. Sometimes this is unavoidable, as when your boss gives you the goal. In that case, make the best of it by looking for some aspect of your boss’s goal that feels good as your own goal.

Example: Maybe your boss wants you to take on a new responsibility and you don’t find that attractive in the least. Perhaps you do like to learn new things, in which case focus on learning the responsibility as your goal.

If you’ve had a goal for a long time but have made little progress toward achieving it, the goal may not be your goal. In this case perhaps you feel this should be your goal, but after some soul searching you may find you really do not want to achieve that goal.

• Pitfall: Sharing your goal with the wrong people.

Who are the wrong people? Anyone not willing or able to unconditionally support you, even when you backslide. Changing something about your life is tough enough, you don’t need someone holding your failure over your head and using it against you.

Only share your goal with people you can trust to help you.

• Pitfall: Setting a goal to change a behavior without substituting another behavior that will bring the same benefit.

Over the years we pick up habits and behaviors because they bring us benefits. Perhaps years later we discover these behaviors also have harmful side affects.

Smoking relaxes, but increases the risk of cancer. Comfort foods provide comfort, but their fat content promotes heart ailments. Alcohol reduces inhibitions, but impedes your ability to drive and can lead to addiction.

Reflect on the benefit(s) you’ll be losing if you achieve your goal and substitute another, healthier source for that benefit. If your goal is to stop smoking, provide another source for relaxation; exercise, meditation, or yoga might be an answer.

• Pitfall: Focusing only on the primary change associated with the goal and failing to realize that other things will change too.

Your conscious mind may ignore secondary changes, but your subconscious probably will notice them and may block your progress toward the goal.

Example: That promotion you’re working so hard to get promises higher pay and a new title. Subconsciously, you may realize that the greater responsibilities will take away from your family time. This may conflict with your conscious drive to get the promotion, effectively blocking it.

• Pitfall: Setting a goal that’s too challenging or too easy.

The best goals are challenging enough to interest and energize us, but not so far out that we can’t see ourselves ever achieving them. Goals that are too easy are just as bad as those that are too difficult. Either way, we’re not motivated. And motivation is critical to goal attainment.

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