Purposeful Growth

Marshall Goldsmith’s What Got You Here Won’t Get You There is a pleasant surprise, loaded with valuable purposeful growth and personal development information from an unexpected source; but you may have to look behind the book’s theme to find it.

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There is a book by an executive coach filled with stories of his success coaching top executives–CEO’s earning seven figures–to be even more successful. Goldsmith hints at times that these executives are just regular people; therefore, his tips and interventions may apply, by inference, to the rest of us.

Despite his emphasis on big contracts, bigger salaries, and the heady atmosphere of the top levels of corporations, What Got You Here Won’t Get You There should be on your reading list. (Of course, if you’re a high level CEO, this is a book for you and I heartily recommend it. I just didn’t think you’d be reading my blog.)

Goldsmith’s theme is that the only thing limiting top executives from further success (aside from the occasional ethical error) is a flaw or two in interpersonal behaviors. The twenty behavioral flaws he identifies hit home–big time. I identified with more than I care to admit. So…

If you’re a person looking to grow, courageous enough to face the reality of behavioral blind spots that are limiting your relationships, your happiness, and your work/professional success, his list of twenty is an excellent place to start.

For example, Goldsmith’s list begins with the need to win at all costs. Do you habitually debate/argue with your spouse, friends, and co-workers over insignificant topics? Is a need to win these “discussions” impacting these relationships? It might be.

The beauty of Goldsmith’s book is not just the list of twenty, but the simple, common-sense, do-it-yourself interventions that we can use to identify our behavioral blind spots and correct them.

For example, don’t assume your spouse, child, co-worker, or employee is satisfied with their relationship with you. Ask. Goldsmith suggests asking with this question, “How can I do better?” If this question requires further clarification, simply indicate you’re interested in improving the relationship and want their opinion and suggestions about how you can improve.

After the person picks themselves up off the floor (a sure sign the relationship isn’t ideal) simply say thank you. Don’t judge the suggestion, don’t argue about it, and certainly don’t criticize it. Just say thank you.

There’s more valuable advice: for example, how to follow up, the need to keep a focus on improvement, incentives to improve, observing silent feedback, listening effectively, and more. 

Pick up your copy of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There and use it to guide your purposeful growth and development.

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A life of purpose–a purpose driven life–the satisfying and fulfilling way to live that we all seek–unfortunately eludes many of us. Lacking a life mission and direction, we chase material goods, money, and power, yet yearn for the satisfaction and fulfillment of living a life of meaning, a life of internal reward and satisfaction.

We ask, “who am I?”, “why am I here?”, and “what is my life all about?” We look for answers that give us direction and knowledge that provides a life plan.

We’re advised to answer the “what do I want?” question, but get confused by the multitude of material wants that marketeers bombard on our consciousness each and every day.

The following approach may seem too morbid for some, but if I could fast forward to my death (hopefully a very long fast forward) and if I could then have awareness and understanding of the legacy I leave behind at my death, it seems this would provide me with clarity of purpose and the foundation of a life plan .

How might I feel if my eulogy is filled with empty platitudes? What if the private thoughts and whispered conversations I overhear leave me embarrassed, humiliated, and deeply saddened at the empty residue of my life?

Instead of just hoping for the best, what if I write my own eulogy, craft my own legacy, and, therefore, influence the honest, innermost thoughts of those I leave behind? And then what if I live my life in such a way that these things are likely end results?

Of course, I have no control over other’s thoughts and perceptions of me. But if I live my life intentionally in such a way that what I want to leave behind is more likely to occur then at the least I am living with a plan, living with purpose and direction.

Executing this strategy (no pun intended) might look like the following:

I envision my loved ones at my funeral and “overhear” their conversations and inner-most thoughts. I hear them say, “He loved me completely and gave me the freedom and support to follow my own dreams. He always encouraged me and believed in me. Though I’ll miss him terribly, I know his spirit, his values, and his love will always be with me.”

Is this what I want? Yes! Would I feel a sense of purpose and direction by living up to this standard? Again, a resounding yes!

To reinforce this facet of my life purpose I set a life goal using the SAFE methodology described in Creative Goal Setting. I can also develop a daily affirmation or prayer reinforcing and reminding me to live my life at this standard.

The affirmation may go something like this: I love my loved-ones unconditionally, regularly reinforcing with my words and actions that I always love and respect them, no matter what they may do. I encourage and support their lives and their decisions, and I’m always there for them, whether their needs are for advice, conversation, or companionship.

If life purpose is your quest, start today with the end in mind. Write your eulogy.

Related articles:

Creative Goal Setting

Purpose is the Foundation for an Easy Life

Being or Doing?

Purpose and Meditation