4 Months of Purposeful Growth
Give yourself four months of purposeful growth by concentrating on one specific growth skill each week for 16 weeks.
Week 1: Growth
Growth means to spring up, to mature, to get larger. In a Purposeful Growth perspective, it implies moving toward your best; not necessarily more of any trait or skill, but better than before.
This Week: Write down your vision for your future in all aspects of your life. Request the Pillars of a Balanced Life form here and I’ll send it at no charge. Filling out this form takes just a few minutes and will give you a current snapshot of your life balance; areas for growth will be obvious.
Week 2: Meditation
Meditation takes many forms, but the end goal of all meditation techniques is a quiet, focused mind. When the mind is quiet, the inner wisdom we each have surfaces to help us resolve life problems. Meditation reduces stress, energizes, and is helpful in treating many physical and mental problems when done in conjunction with standard medical practices.
This Week: Set aside 15 minutes just before bedtime to sit quietly by yourself and practice meditation. Start with a basic meditation technique here. Experiment with other forms of meditation, some of which are here until you find one or two that are effective for you. An effective meditation technique allows you to easily move into a quiet, focused state of mind.
The most common problem novices have is that their minds continue to ramble with self talk and problem solving.
Week 3: The Present Moment, Now
Life takes place in the present moment, yet many of us spend our time and energy on the past and future. Life is more satisfying when we live each moment fully, totally occupied with the present. The past is gone and is best used for the lessons we’ve learned. The future is uncertain and is best faced by planning for anticipated events while avoiding worry.
This Week: Read Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment”
Week 4: Beliefs
A belief is a thought we hold in our minds about something. The word belief is usually reserved for those things we hold sacred and true. We seldom question our beliefs and therein lies the opportunity for personal growth.
This Week: Catch yourself stereotyping someone. Watch yourself for instances where, without thinking, you find yourself saying, “Oh, he’s a…” or “You know how she is, she always…” Automatically labeling someone is your clue that you have a belief about a certain type of person or behavior. Where did you get that belief? Is it really true all the time? Look for instances that disprove it and be open to other conclusions.
Week 5: Awareness
Awareness implies vigilance in observing some thing or experience and alertness in drawing inferences from what one observes.
This Week: Be aware of your emotions. Several times a day take note of how you’re feeling and what stimulated the feeling. Your emotions are unfailing indicators of the degree to which a current experience is in integrity with who you are.
If you’re feeling positive it’s an indication that you’re being true to yourself. Negative feelings, of course, indicate the opposite. The rule of thumb is to keep doing things that bring you positive feelings. Some will bristle at this, believing that it’s selfish to strive to feel good. However, when we feel good we’re healthier, more energetic, more creative, and better able to reach out to others. We’re also more fun to be around.
Week 6: Being
Being is a state of existence, a sometimes temporary role a person displays based on emotion and feeling. In a single day most people will exhibit many states of being.
This Week: Using the skill of awareness be conscious of who you are being for the next week. Set aside a small part of yourself to watch over you from a distance and observe who you are being as you go about your life for this week.
As you see yourself being a certain way, perhaps grumpy or picky, or critical, ask yourself if this is who you want to be right then. Perhaps the answer will be yes; that’s fine, then you are conscious of who you are and are choosing the way you want to be just then. But if the answer is no, then you have the opportunity to choose another way of being, perhaps compassionate, cheery, or accepting.
Do this for one week and you’ll be amazed at the conscious control you have over your life and your happiness.
Week 7: Behavior
Behavior is a person’s action or reaction to some situation or stimulus. Behavior is what we do or say in response to what someone else does or says. We don’t often think about our behaviors because so many are automatic. Without even being aware of it, we look into our memory banks for similar situations and react as we did in the past.
This Week: Pay special attention to everything you do and say. Ask yourself why you’re doing and saying what you are. Most of your answers will be routine; “I said yes when my boss gave me an assignment because that’s my job.” But there will be some behaviors loaded with special and important insights. Watch out for them. You’ll know you found one when you feel troubled by pondering why you did or said that. Reflect on these situations for the insight and personal growth opportunity within.
Week 8: Commitment
Commitment is a strong word, declaring more than intent and much, much more than to try. Commitment is a dedication to do or achieve something. This dedication is non-negotiable to the committed person.
This Week: Answer the question: To What Am I Committed? Write down your commitments. Are you really committed? Are these non-negotiable? Is your list inspiring and energizing?
Week 9: Biofeedback
Biofeedback is the conscious control of a bodily function.
This Week: When you feel stress or anger this week, consciously turn your attention to your blood pressure. Imagine that you have a pressure monitoring kit in place while you take very deep and slow breaths. Breath in, hold it for a count of five, and breath out slowly while counting to five. Repeat this while imagining your blood pressure readings going down. Continue this for 30 to 60 seconds or until you feel more relaxed and calm. Repeat as necessary.
Week 10: Listen
Listening is more than hearing. Listening is hearing and understanding. The trait often quoted as most admired by others is listening. Nothing will enhance a relationship more than listening carefully, generously, and completely.
This Week: Listen to everyone with your total attention. Avoid choosing a response. Listen. Listen to the words, the tone, and the pace of the information the person is providing you. Listen to the words chosen.
What is significant about the words not chosen? What wasn’t said? Listen to the gaps. What emotions do you feel from the conversation? Echo back what you believe you heard to verify you heard correctly.
Avoid the temptation to provide a solution to someone’s problem. Unless specifically asked for your opinion, most people just want to be heard. Speaking their mind helps them vent and helps them formulate their own solutions. Which is what most of us really want.
Week 11: Self-Care
Self-care is an important skill of purposeful growth and development. It literally means care of oneself, being responsible for and actively engaged in care for one’s health, welfare, and personal growth.
This Week: Evaluate your lifestyle for areas for improved self-care. These might involve your habits of eating, exercise, rest, and pleasure. Are you caring for yourself as well as you would like your loved ones to care for themselves?
Week 12: Savor
To savor is to delight in a pleasant experience of the senses. Typically associated with the sense of taste, we can enhance and extend the enjoyable moments of life by mentally savoring them.
This Week: Pick one pleasant moment each day and savor it. Resist the temptation to discount or take for granted pleasant moment opportunities. Drink in at least one each day and roll it around your mind, enjoying the pleasant sensations it brings you. Notice how this elevates your mood. Savor that too.
Week 13: Serenity
Serenity is a state of utter calm. Refuse to be anxious, angry, or annoyed. Enjoy the peace and calm of being serene and the knowledge that serenity not only feels good but is good for your health too.
This Week: Accept the challenge of remaining serene regardless of the chaos that might surround you. If you feel yourself getting caught up in a drama at home or work, remember to take deep, slow breaths, expelling anxiety and anger with each breath. Remember, this too shall pass.
Week 14: Say No
Practice saying no to requests for your time and energy that are not consistent with your values, aligned with your passions, and don’t utilize your strengths. There are many ways to say no. There is simply no, no thank you, thanks for asking, but no I can’t do that now, I’m pleased that you asked, but no, I can’t take that on just now, and … you know many ways to say no politely, firmly, and with appreciation for being asked.
This Week: Before taking on any task or responsibility of an ongoing or lengthy duration, ask yourself these questions:
1. Will this responsibility be in conflict with my values?
2. Am I passionate about this responsibility?
3. Which of my core strengths will I be using in this responsibility?
If the answers to 1. and 2. are yes, and if you can readily identify one or more of your core strengths utilized by this responsibility, accept it eagerly. Otherwise, say no graciously.
Week 15: Apologize
To apologize is to make an admission of wrong-doing and expression of regret.
This Week: Seek out someone whose feelings you may have hurt in the past, even if you believe the event has been forgotten. Express your apology sincerely and without an underlying defensiveness. Indicate your regret at the hurt you caused and your hope that your relationship can re-establish.
Week 16: Re-visit the growth plan you wrote in week 1. Notice your progress since then. Repeat weeks 1 though 15 for even more growth.