Purposeful Growth

A book to teach high level executives how to climb further up the ladder is also a primer for each of us in how to improve our interpersonal relationships.

Marshall Goldsmith’s What Got You Here Won’t Get You There addresses twenty interpersonal behavioral flaws that limit the success of the executives he coaches. In working with

high level, successful executives, Goldsmith’s coaching involves identifying and correcting the interpersonal weaknesses that limit further success. It turns out this book is a wonderful compendium of personal growth tips.What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, at first might seem to be a book to boost Goldsmith’s image and reputation as a highly successful, well-paid executive coach. In reality it is a treasure of personal development ideas for each of us.

If you can get past the tiresome references to how much Goldsmith is paid to coach executives who earn staggering levels of compensation themselves, you’ll find twenty behavioral flaws that limit the personal development and growth of all human beings.

It’s a shame Goldsmith addressed his message primarily to executives, for there is something here for everyone working to be a better person. Reading his list of twenty behavioral flaws, I found myself identifying with far more than I want to admit.

His work with thousands of executives provides Goldsmith with a wealth of information and experience about the personal development process. He demonstrates the insight and intelligence to understand just what we can do to improve ourselves in critical interpersonal areas.

His processes for identifying and correcting interpersonal flaws are straightforward, common sense, yet brilliantly to the point. For example, to identify the limiting factors in our relationships with others, whether at home or in the boardroom, ask. Ask those we interact with on a regular basis. Before you write this off as simply common sense, how many times have each of us tried to solve an interpersonal problem without involving the other party?

The first step he requires of someone working to improve might surprise you: Apologize.

Apologize to those who have been hurt, shortchanged, or limited in any way by your interpersonal flaws. Brilliant. Effective. Humbling. Goldsmith says, “…I regard apologizing as the most magical, healing, restorative gesture human beings can make.”

For those of us on a journey of purposeful personal development and growth, Goldsmith’s book is a golden opportunity to identify blind spots in our relationships and flaws in our daily behaviors.

Pick up a copy of What Got You Here Won’t Get You There, prepare yourself to overlook the emphasis on executives (unless you are one) and on six and seven figure earnings (unless you earn them, too), and start eliminating the behavioral flaws that are keeping you from reaching the next level in your personal growth and development.

This article first appeared in the Personal Development Topic at Suite101.com.

John Izzo’s The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die reveals the recipe for living happy and dying well. This is a terrific little handbook for successful living, unique due to Izzo’s research methodology.

There are two ways to learn life’s lessons. The first is the school of hard knocks, learning by experience is effective, though hard, and requires that we live long enough to learn and benefit from the learning.

The second, an easier way, though not always as effective, is to listen to those who have gone before. Most of us use a combination of the two. Izzo’s book provides an excellent view of life from those who have lived long, wisely, happily, and are still around to expound for the rest of us. Following is an introduction from Izzo.

What are the secrets to happiness and meaning? Why do some people find a deep sense of purpose while they are here and die with few regrets while others end their lives bitter and disappointed?

About two years ago I set out to answer that question by asking several thousand people to identify the one person they knew who had lived a long life and found true happiness. It seemed to me that each of us knows at least one person who achieved true success. After receiving over 1,000 nominations, I interviewed 235 people from the age of 59-106 (who had over 18,000 years of life experience) asking them to reflect back on their lives: What brought happiness? What gave meaning? What did they regret? What did they wish they had learned sooner? What did not matter in the end?

These “wise elders” were an incredibly diverse group ranging from a town barber to CEO’s, from poets to native chiefs, Holocaust survivors to war veterans, and represented all the major religions and cultures of our society. My goal was not to interview famous people but to identify ordinary people who had found extraordinary happiness. What I discovered were five clear themes of what it means to live a happy and

meaningful life (and to die with a smile on your face). In my new book, The Five Secrets You Must Discover before You Die, I share the five true paths to finding meaning in life and show how we can live these secrets.

The first secret I learned from these interviews is Be true to yourself. Each one of us is on a unique human journey and the path to true happiness is to be true to ourselves. This means knowing what brings us happiness and focusing our life on what matters to us. It means reflecting on a regular basis as to whether our life fits our soul. In our daily lives it means knowing what brings us joy and ensuring that we fill our life with the right elements. It also means following our unique destiny. One of the people I interviewed was a Latino woman who talked about the importance of following our “destina.” The idea is that each of us has a path that is most true to us, which is not so much a destination as a way we are meant to be in the world. For example, I am a teacher and philosopher by nature and when I stay close to that path I experience true joy.

Being true to self often means drowning out other voices that would ask us to live their dreams instead of ours. Ron, a gifted chiropractor, told me the story of how he planned to become a medical doctor but when he visited a chiropractor shortly before starting medical school he discovered a profession that connected to his true self. “Others told me I was crazy but I knew it was my path.” He told me that to follow your heart you must have the “discipline to listen and the courage to follow.” This means asking if the life we are living is true to our deepest sense of self and it sometimes requires a step of courage to follow our soul. Are you being true to yourself right now?

For the remaining four secrets, see my full article review, Five Secrets You Must Discover.