Archive for the 'Attraction' Category

How to Cheer Up Friends

Tuesday, July 15th, 2008

Cheering up friends not only lifts their spirits, it lifts yours, too. Your unique gifts, when offered in support of another, will benefit giver and receiver. How do you cheer up when you’re feeling down and blue? A great way is to help cheer a friend up. Cheering friends up helps to move the focus from you to someone else. The personalized gift of your time and

energy on behalf of someone else will do wonders for lifting your spirits. You and your friend both benefit; win/win always feels good.

Research Studies Verify It

Research studies show that an orientation to the welfare of others is, in the long run, more satisfying than an orientation to one’s own pleasure. And when you’re feeling down, there’s a tendency to focus on your own problems and your own unsatisfied wants and needs. Shifting to help another person gives you the opportunity to connect and foster a relationship. Strong relationships correlate with personal happiness and life satisfaction.

Tips for Cheering Up

A nearly instant way to lift your own spirits is to focus on gratitude for what you have. Acknowledging gratitude and appreciation for even the simplest and most basic aspects of your life will lift your mood. To translate this to a unique gift you can give another person, express to that person those aspects of themselves for which you are grateful.

  • Gratitude: A Unique Gift Idea

Recall a time this friend helped you with a kind word, an extra pair of hands, or a thoughtful gift. Express your appreciation for that and how much it meant to you. Recalling the event and circumstances will lift spirits for both of you, reinforcing the value of a good friend.

  • Your Unique Gift

Find a way to offer your unique gift to someone in need of a lift. Perhaps your gift is simply that you’re more physically able than your friend. An elderly friend or relative can always use help with house and yard chores. Running the sweeper or mowing the grass removes a physical demand on your elderly friend and also eliminates the mental and financial burden of finding a way to get the work done.

You probably have talents and experience in many areas that can help a friend who’s down in the dumps. A small, personalized, hand crafted gift shows you care; always a sure way to lift one’s spirits.

  • Everyone Can Listen

Sometimes a friend just needs someone to talk with. Burdens are lighter when shared. Your gift of listening supportively will cheer up your friend simply because you’ve helped them be heard. You don’t need to solve their problem, just be an empathetic listener.

  • Give and Receive

When you give you also receive. The old saying, “what goes around comes around,” is another way of expressing the Law of Attraction. If you cheer up a friend you will also be cheered up.

If you or your friend are feeling overwhelmed, feeling as if you’re on a treadmill going as fast as you can but not getting anywhere satisfying, your life is probably out of balance. The Life Balance E-course can help you get your life back in balance and keep it that way. This ten week self study course has helped others just like you. Find out how to get your life back in balance in ten weeks.

This article first appeared in the Personal Development Topic at Suite101.com.

The Law of Attraction and how the Universe Works

Sunday, March 16th, 2008

Overheard recently, “Why is all this stuff coming into my life? I don’t want any of this. And don’t tell me I brought it on myself. Why would I do that? I don’t want any of this in my life. I’d have to be crazy to want this.”

Have you ever heard this conversation? Maybe you’ve had a similar dialog with someone–perhaps with yourself. Sometimes the

things that come into our lives seem the exact opposite of what we want. We feel powerless, and all the talk that we can create whatever we want sounds like rubbish. Is it?It can be frustrating and painful to face a string of disappointing life circumstances. When you intend to create a certain life, it feels like failure when something else results. It’s so much easier to blame someone or something else; then, at least, you’re not a failure-a victim, but not a failure.

Let’s go back to basics. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. There are many popular sayings reinforcing the Law of Attraction: birds of a feather flock together, what goes around comes around, do unto others as you would have them do unto you, the world is a mirror, and many more.

The attracting force is energy. Positive, high frequency energy attracts more of the same; likewise, negative, lower frequency

energy attracts more energy that is negative. Emotion adds intensity to this energy; the stronger the emotion, the stronger the attraction. If I feel down in the dumps, depressed and blue, despite wishing to feel better, and thinking I’d like to feel better, the energy I give off will continue to attract more of the same-depressing, negative life results.We’ve all seen the Law of Attraction in action; we know the world works this way because we can often see the results—in others. We cannot see it as easily for ourselves. A universal law doesn’t just work some times; it works all the time. Gravity always works. Water always converts from ice to liquid to steam at appropriate temperatures. Energy can neither be created nor destroyed, only altered in form-always.

Then why does it seem the Law of Attraction fails to work when you want to create a certain result in life? That’s the question that baffles and frustrates. But it’s the wrong question. If you assume the universal law isn’t working for you, then it isn’t a universal law. Instead, you should assume the opposite-the Law of Attraction is working perfectly. When you accept that the combination of your thoughts and beliefs, emotions and feelings, and subconscious intentions and yearnings are generating your life results, you gain the power and perspective to change.

Once you accept that your life is the result of your thoughts, beliefs, emotions, and actions, you are ready to take the 8 steps necessary to attract the life you do desire.

1. The first question to ask is this: do I really want different life results? Be sensitive to how you feel about the area of life you believe you want to change. Are there mixed feelings there? Do you wish for greater career success while simultaneously feeling terrified of making the changes required to attain it? Is career success even your desire? Or is it a success prescribed by others? The energy projected by a combination of conflicting thinking and feeling will continue to attract more of what you’re now experiencing. Clearly confirming the life change as your true desire allows you to move on to the next seven important steps.

2. Clarify what you want. Visualize the thing you desire and-this is important-feel the resulting emotion. Emotion-a state of being-is what we really desire. The things we think we want are only a means to an end-the end being an emotion. We think we want

money, but we really want the emotion of security, abundance, or some other emotion/state of being which money will bring. We think we want a life partner, but what we really want is to love and be loved, to be intimately connected to another.3. Identify any negative emotions associated with what you want. We often fear some aspect of what we believe we desire. This fear will diminish our powers of attraction, probably resulting in more of what we now have. Pursue these negative emotions, what do they convey, what are you avoiding?

Do you desire to write a book, but fear it, too? The energy projected from your fear will offset the positive energy projected from your desire to complete the book-you’ll continue to attract the inability to complete the book.

4. Identify what you don’t want and why. Visualize what you don’t want, and note associated emotions. List these emotions. Next to each negative emotion, ask yourself what belief you might hold, or what experiences you might have had that cause that emotion. A negative emotion is always associated with a fundamental belief, perhaps buried deep in the subconscious.

Taking the book example again, assume you realize what you don’t want is to invest a huge amount of time and energy writing a book which few people read-a waste of your effort. As you think about this, you feel unimportant, insignificant, as if you’ve nothing to contribute. Insignificance is what you really fear, and this is what is preventing you from achieving the completed book.

A belief you hold is sponsoring this fear of insignificance. In plain, harsh words, you might believe the following: “I have nothing of value to offer the world.” Perhaps you subconsciously hold this belief because of harsh criticism from parents, teachers, or employers. As long as you hold this belief, you will continue to attract life experiences directly or indirectly supporting the belief.

5. Carefully examine each belief you identified in step 4. Accept that each belief has been true for you up until now, but need not be true in your future. Decide to discard the belief, realizing that broad generalizations are oversimplifications. Look for exceptions to the belief. Look for examples in your life disproving the belief. Perhaps you find you enjoy writing, and others enjoy reading what you write; therefore, you do have something of significance to offer.

6. Convert each belief to a form that will help you. Start by writing each belief identified in step 4 on a new line. Now revise the belief to form a positive affirmation supporting forward

movement. For example, assume you’ve identified the following belief as a source of your fear associated with writing a book: I am not a brilliant writer, so a book that I write may be laughable to others. This belief, if sustained, will continue to sabotage your authoring desire.Make the following change to turn this into a belief that helps you: The book I write will be the best book I can write at this time, and my satisfaction and reward will come from doing my very best, rather than from the opinions of other people.

7. Transfer your list of modified beliefs-these are now positive, supportive affirmations-to a clean sheet of paper. Read each affirmation slowly and carefully twice each day, morning and evening. As you read each affirmation-each new belief-feel the emotion associated with it. Live within the reality of each affirmation, savoring your feelings and emotions.

8. Reinforce a positive orientation by calling forth other positive emotions each day. Make a habit of allowing only positive thoughts. A good way to do this is to think of three things you are grateful for having in your life. Hold each in your mind and feel the emotion of it. Do this upon waking each morning and before going to sleep each evening.

When something negative happens-as it will-look carefully for a positive aspect to hold in your mind. A traffic jam on your way home may slow you down, but also gives you an opportunity to relax and think of pleasant evening activities. A harsh critique of your book will sting, but may provide valuable information.

Will you always attract the life you desire by following these steps? I wish the answer were a resounding yes. For those who are life masters-or close to mastery-the answer is a consistent yes. Masters consciously create exactly what they desire. Unfortunately, most of us fall short of mastery, so the best we can do is strive for our life’s desires using this process, accepting that we may fall short at times. The important thing is to continue to work through these eight steps, recognizing that today you are creating tomorrow, whether knowingly or not.

Related Articles on the Law of Attraction:

When the Law of Attraction Fails

Excuse Me Your Life is Waiting