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Learn To Be Grateful with Lisa Ryan’s New Book

 Beliefs, Changing Habits, Personal Development, Positive Attitude  3 Responses »
Aug 082012
 

TUpside of Down Timeshe Upside of Down Times: Discovering the Power of Gratitude by Lisa Ryan (Outskirts Press, 2012) is a small book with a big message: Gratitude can make you happier, healthier, and even wealthier. Learn the benefits of being grateful, and how to do it.

You’ve heard it before, your mother probably admonished you to be grateful for what you have. More than just a nice thing—being grateful—Ryan pulls together recent scientific research findings showing the benefits of gratitude are powerful indeed.

The Upside of Down Times is not a dry recounting of research, it’s an entertaining, informative read. Filled with anecdotes and Ryan’s personal experiences, this small book is a powerful reminder that your life can be greatly improved by something free, easy, and available to everyone—gratitude.

You might call Lisa Ryan the gratitude queen. Her personal life isn’t the only aspect of her life devoted to gratitude. Her business name, Grategy, is a word coined from the combination of gratitude and strategy, and helps companies harness the power of gratitude to improve business results.

Daily Gratitude

I’ve practiced daily gratitude activities for some time now, using the Three Good Things intervention I first read about in Dr Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness book. Each night when I go to bed I recall three good things that happened during the day and linger in the gratitude I feel for them.

Good things need not be anything extraordinary, a nice nap, a pleasant walk, or an interesting book are all candidates. In fact, the small positives of life—those things we often take for granted—are great  reminders that life is good, by and large, in spite of the challenges that often come our way.

I’ve found regularly focusing on three good things at the end of the day keeps me in a positive frame of mind and tends to help me focus on the good things I look forward to the next day.

Gratitude, Positive Attitude, and Relationships

The research findings of positive psychology are clear. Being positive is better for your health, your happiness, and your personal success. Gratitude is one of the very easy and powerful tools for maintaining a positive attitude.

Being grateful provides even more benefit when you factor in the impact it has on your relationships—strengthening them and keeping you connected to others—another big factor in human happiness and success.

I recommend The Upside of Down Times, a small book with a big message, a message we tend to forget in the course of busy lives. Thanking people, acknowledging them with smiles and a friendly word or two, recognizing the contributions they make to your life, and being thankful for all you have, even if it’s not all you want to have, are all free and easy ways to enjoy your life.

More Resources for Personal Growth

What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose? is the latest in the Personal Growth Resources series of personal growth books. Other books in the series include The Happiness Workbook, Sample Personal Development Plan and Workbook, and 5 Keys to Balancing Work and Life.

Watch for future articles on this site. Better yet, Subscribe to Your Purposeful Growth Update by email.

Jerry Lopper – Personal Growth Resources

Build your life on a foundation of purpose

Science Behind the Law of Attraction: The Synthesis Effect

 Attraction, Beliefs, Changing Habits, Personal Development  2 Responses »
Jul 312012
 

The Synthesis EffectIt’s exciting to see science and spirituality coming together. Author and clinical hypnotherapist, John McGrail, PhD, makes a strong connection between the two in his recently published book, The Synthesis Effect: Your Direct Path to Personal Power and Transformation.

Synthesis Effect at a Glance

McGrail provides a model of the mind and how it develops, while demonstrating the science behind our abilities to manifest the life outcomes we desire. If you’ve become frustrated with your attempts to utilize the Law of Attraction, read The Synthesis Effect.

McGrail reminds us that Western culture is alone in separating the spiritual aspects of our Universe from the observable. Eastern culture, as well as our own Native American Indian culture, has long believed in the interconnection of all life: human, animal, plant, and earth. McGrail attributes Western culture’s lack of belief that all is connected to many of our problems of today.

Quantum Physics and You

Parts of The Synthesis Effect are not easily read, as McGrail uses the latest research findings of quantum physics as proof of the interconnection of all physical forms. Those familiar with the concept of the Law of Attraction—like attracts like—will be interested in his discussions of how quantum physics demonstrates the science of the Law of Attraction. Quantum scientists find that observing an event at the quantum level affects the event’s outcome. McGrail points out that this is exactly what the Law of Attraction tells us; we are at cause for our experiences.

The Human Mind

McGrail provides an excellent model of the mind and how it develops, demonstrating why beliefs are such powerful influences in our lives. With the understanding of how we acquired the beliefs residing in our subconscious minds, McGrail offers tools for effectively overcoming those beliefs that are limiting personal development.

There is a wealth of interesting information in The Synthesis Effect. In addition to solidifying the science behind the Law of Attraction, McGrail’s mind model explains why simple willpower is ineffective in accomplishing lifestyle changes. With his model in mind, it’s easy to see why stopping smoking, losing weight, exercising regularly, living within a budget, and other troublesome challenges to modern life can be so difficult to overcome.

How to Meditate

For those who have unsuccessfully tried to meditate, or have wanted to learn but thought it too difficult, McGrail offers a simple, yet effective technique for entering into the quiet-mind state of meditation. He suggests beginning by taking 21 slow, deep breaths. Try this, I think you’ll find it helpful.

Some time ago, I wrote about another meditation tip from the authors of Tapping the Source. Their tip is to focus on each breath while simultaneously focusing on the rise and fall of your stomach. The combination of 21 slow, deep breaths, while simultaneously focusing on each breath and the rise/fall of your stomach will help you reach the quiet-mind state of meditation.

There is much more to like in The Synthesis Effect (Career Press, 2012) for those serious about personal growth and interested in the science behind human behavior. Understanding how your mind works and why, will help you be more effective in your journey of personal growth. Learn more about author John McGrail, PhD.

What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose? is the latest in the Personal Growth Resources series of personal growth books. Other books in the series include The Happiness Workbook, Sample Personal Development Plan and Workbook, and 5 Keys to Balancing Work and Life.

Watch for future articles on this site. Better yet, Subscribe to Your Purposeful Growth Update by email.

Jerry Lopper – Personal Growth Resources

Build your life on a foundation of purpose

Problems and Opportunities

 Beliefs, Changing Habits, Positive Attitude, Success  No Responses »
Dec 162011
 

I tweeted today that “Today’s problem is your opportunity for personal growth. Don’t fight it, don’t waste it.” Taking a cue from Jeffrey Gitomer, I thought I’d expand on this a bit.

Opportunity or Problem?

In my working career for a Fortune 100 company, when the boss came in my office and dumped a problem on me, describing it as an opportunity, I fought it big-time, and probably wasted lots of personal and professional growth chances in the process.

Rather than accept the opportunity side of the situation, I focused on the additional work I’d have to do and how I resented having to rearrange my day’s priorities to take on this new “opportunity.” Of course, in my state of resentfulness it wasn’t an opportunity, it was a problem weakly disguised in boss-speak.

Maybe my anger reflected that I knew at some level the boss was right, but I didn’t want to acknowledge and accept it from someone else. I’ve always liked being in control of my situations, but of course a boss is a boss, and even the bosses I liked I probably also for the “opportunities” they gave me.

With hindsight, I’ve come to realize that I learn very little when I’m coasting along at my own pace, doing my own things. When I learn the most is when some problem, adversity, or difficult situation presents itself. Then I learn. A difficult problem forces me to be focused, creative, fully engaged, and open to the ideas and assistance of others. All the good components of success.

Why fight today’s problem, even though it disrupts your plans? It really is an opportunity, so don’t wasted it.
My highly rated Sample Personal Development Plan eBook recognizes the importance of strengths in personal development by including finding your strengths as one of the foundational modules of growth.

What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose? is the latest in the Personal Growth Resources series of personal growth books. Other books in the series include:

Watch for future articles on this site. Better yet, Subscribe to Your Purposeful Growth Update by email.

Jerry Lopper – Personal Growth Resources

Build your life on a foundation of purpose

Use These Stress-Reducing Shortcuts to Inner Peace

 Changing Habits, Health, Peacefulness, Personal Development, Positive Attitude  No Responses »
Nov 082011
 

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Shortcuts to Inner Peace

Image courtesy Planned TV Arts

Burdened with a stressful life? No time for yourself, no fun in your days? All the experts will tell you to meditate, take yoga classes, get a massage, become mindful, learn to deep breathe, and get centered on the present. Good advice, and it helps, but you may be among those who just can’t seem to find the time to learn meditation.

First time meditators generally are disappointed. It takes practice—lots of practice—to learn to quiet your mind and receive the stress-reducing benefits of meditation and mindfulness practices.

Author and psychotherapist Ashley Davis Bush may have the answer to a busy person’s prayers for stress relief with her new release, Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity. With her own busy life as a professional therapist, wife, and mother of five, Bush admits she struggled to find meditation time, too.

Then she had an epiphany of sorts—doesn’t everyone, even very busy people, find the time to brush their teeth, shower, use the restroom, and all the other routines of daily life? Sure, we all find time for those necessities, they’ve become habits. So what if we had short stress-reducing activities that we could use while doing our necessary daily habits and routines?

That’s the theme of her book, resulting in 70 shortcuts you can use to prepare yourself in advance for those stressful moments in your busy day.

Before describing her shortcut strategies, let’s explore stress and why the traditional recommendations for stress relief often fail us.

What is Stress?

Stress is a reaction to a stimulating event. Most of us have automatic reactions to certain types of stimulating events, reactions which bring our minds and bodies into stress-mode; adrenalin pumps, blood pressure increases, and we focus on the fight or flight reaction built into our genetics as a survival mode. But most of the stress inducing circumstances we face are not life threatening, but health threatening.

You’re running late for work, but traffic grinds to a halt on the freeway—you’ll be late and your customer hates that. Or this scenario, you’ve just enough time to make the appointment with a crucial customer so you load your presentation on your flash drive to get underway, but your computer locks up—no presentation, late for the customer, chances of a sale go down the drain.

We’ve formed habitual responses to these types of stimulating events—anger, frustration, ranting, and blaming ourselves and the world for conspiring to bring failure into our lives. While it would be nice to stop and meditate while the computer decides whether it will free up or die, meditation takes time, the lack of which is part of the problem. What’s needed is an habitual response to potentially negative stimulating events that is quick, easy, and effective. Habitual response is the key phrase here. Unless we’ve routinely practiced responses, they won’t be habitual, we won’t remember to use them, and if we try, we won’t have practiced them enough to be effective.

The Stress-Reducing Shortcuts

What if every time you washed your hands you repeated a phrase or two, such as: “go with the flow, accept what happens and move on,” or “send my negative reactions of anger, swearing, and vindictiveness down the drain, wash them away?” How many times does a person wash their hands in a day, five, ten, twenty? Repeating these phrases ten or twenty times a day for two or three weeks will habituate a stress-reducing reaction to the next negative event. Computer freezes? Frustration goes down the drain, figure out how to get it up and running. Stuck in traffic? Anger goes down the drain and you have some time to recall your last vacation.

Shortcuts to Inner Peace offers seventy shortcuts from which to pick; all are brief and tied to everyday events to make them easy to practice. For example, Morning Glories, named after the flower which opens up each day, helps us practice starting each day with a positive expectation, welcoming a new day of being alive.

These shortcuts work because—once habituated—they interrupt the negative unconscious reactions we previously had to stressful circumstances, providing tools for redirecting us to more positive, supportive thoughts and reactions.

Bush calls this process awareness, redirection, and restoration. Awareness of our unconscious negative reactions to an event helps us see a potential downward spiral of anger or anxiety and interrupt it. Redirection results when we notice the unwelcome reaction and consciously redirect our thoughts to more positive, supportive ones. Restoration of calm and peace results.

Once you understand the process, design your own shortcuts. Each night when I climb into bed I recall three good things that happened during the day; recalling the goodness of even the most mundane event is relaxing and affirming of my appreciation of life. My wife, upon entering a local supermarket, typically overflowing with food choices, never fails to appreciate the abundance of our lives.

Tying everyday occurrences to reminders of what’s really important in our lives is a great way to stay centered and focused on the wonders of being alive. Some of Ashley Davis Bush’s shortcuts are sure to work for you.

For more information on reducing stress read these:

Strategies for Stress: How to Deal with the Stress of Bad Times

The Stress of Values Conflicts

Three Steps to Relieve the Stress of Work

Be Beautiful, Talented, Capable, & Make a Difference

 Beliefs, Changing Habits, Fear, Love, Personal Development, Positive Attitude, Success  2 Responses »
Oct 292011
 

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I learned of this great little ebook that’s a perfect gift for people who fail to realize or refuse to accept their talents, beauty, and abilities. This can truly be a gift that makes a difference in someone’s life, maybe yours.

Ebook Cover

Courtesy Stephanie Voss

If you’ve been told you’re attractive but sloughed it off assuming the other person was either blind, wanted something from you, or didn’t get around much, Stephanie Voss’s new ebook, If I Could Tell You Just One Thing It Would Be This, is perfect for you.

If you admire people who accomplish things in their lives, but know you could never do the same, this book is for you.

If you’d love to be somebody, but feel like you’re nobody, this book is for you.

Looking in the Mirror

How many people can look in the mirror and sincerely tell themselves, “You are wise,” or “You can make a difference in this world?”

Most of us tend to focus on our weaknesses, our inabilities, our physical limitations, and our past mistakes, proving we’re not enough: not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or competent enough. Sadly, we have lots of help at this as so many people—even those who love us—find endless opportunities to “help us improve” by pointing out our failures and blemishes. Rather than helping us improve, this feedback often simply reinforces our negative views of self. Proving we’re not enough.

Voss gently guides the reader through ten powerful statements that many people refuse to make about the person they see in the mirror, such as “I am good,” “I am capable,” or “I am wise.”

Using personal examples and encouraging the reader to focus on her own experiences showing wisdom, capability, helpfulness, and loving, Voss helps the reader focus on the real person God created before the doubts, criticisms, and jealousies of others diminished her self-esteem and confidence.

Can If I Could Tell You One Thing Help?

Voss’s book will help you, or someone you love, reconnect with the beautiful, capable, powerful person God created. Though a bit pricey for an ebook at $14.99, it’s still a great value if it helps you accept and utilize your inherent talents and abilities. It appears to be available only in pdf format at this time.

Give yourself or someone you love the opportunity to live the life God intended with this wonderful little reminder of the greatness of each person.

For more information visit the home page of If I Could Tell You One Thing.

Full Disclosure: I’m not affiliated in any way with Voss or her book, nor do I profit from the sale of her book. I simply like this book and sincerely believe it can be a blessing to many people.

Strategies for Stress: How to Deal with the Stress of Bad Times

 Changing Habits, Fear, Personal Development, Positive Attitude, Relationships  No Responses »
Sep 272011
 

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Upside of Down Times image

Image Courtesy of Planned Television Arts

While we can’t always avoid negative events in our lives—despite our best Law of Attraction efforts—we can control how we react to the bad stuff that happens to us all.

That’s the theme of Dr. Rob Pennington’s Find the Upside of the Down Times: How to Turn your Worst Experiences into your Best Opportunities! (Resource International, 2011).

Dr. Pennington catches your attention immediately with the opening sentence of his first chapter: “I was shot in the center of the chest by an unknown assailant…It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

Most of us manage to avoid being shot, but that’s not all he’s encountered in his life. The hospital bill for his treatment back in 1982 was $36,000. Pennington was self-employed, without medical insurance. Reflecting on this financial problem, he states again, “this was one of the best things that ever happened to me.”

There’s a term for people who deny negative events by casting them in a positive light—it’s called being a Pollyanna, after the main character in the 1913 best seller of the same name by Eleanor H. Porter, whose character viewed only the positive side of any event. The Pollyanna term implies naivety and a failing to face reality.

But Pennington isn’t being Pollyannaish. He doesn’t deny the hardships he underwent in facing the events mentioned above, nor in a series of other life events, such as being divorced by his first wife, being fired from his job, being targeted by the IRS in an audit, and being threatened with divorce by his second wife, later becoming her caregiver when she suffered from MS.

Instead, he’s taken the approach of facing life’s negative events with an approach of taking positive action to find opportunities for moving on. He reminds us of the saying, “When one door closes, another opens,” though he notes that finding the open door requires one to turn around and look for it.

Those who prefer remaining in the spotlight often afforded victims of bad stuff will not like Find the Upside of the Down Times. Indeed, they are likely to take offense at the implicit suggestion to get on with your life. Pennington doesn’t render judgment on those in this situation, preferring to focus his advice for those ready to move on, but unsure how to begin.

Strategies for Making the Most of Bad Times

Among the many excellent tips for turning bad events into positive opportunities are these:

  • When you’re stuck in traffic or a slow bank queue and you’re going to be late for an important appointment, why compound it by becoming angry, frustrated, and anxious? Being stuck is a fact you probably can’t change, but you don’t have to submit your body and mind to the stresses of anger. Why compound the problem by hurting yourself even more with your mental state? Instead, use these frustrating circumstances of daily life as a time for relaxation. Breathe deeply and slowly, and think of pleasant thoughts.
  • Follow this three-step process for locating the positive opportunities within negative events:

1. Capture your thoughts about the negative event, such as: If I’m late for my appointment my client will terminate our contract.

2. Identify the negative connotation words and strike them out, such as: If I’m late for my appointment my client will terminate our contract.

3. Restate the sentence with positive, believable words, such as: If I’m late for my appointment my client will initially be upset but will fully understand my unavoidable delay and will recognize the circumstances could happen to anyone. And he’ll be pleased when I back up my apology by giving him a 10% discount on his next order.

  • When you feel stress, consider that stress is your body’s signal that something must be changed. When you take any action to change the situation your stress level will naturally reduce. Pennington provides a five-step process for proactive change to reduce stress.
  • Many negative events involve relationship issues. Pennington suggests reflecting on the annoying behaviors of the other person that are affecting your relationship. Put the behaviors into two categories: Preferences and Requirements.
    • Requirements are just that, behaviors that are required for the relationship to continue. Violating requirements is a deal-breaker. Examples might be physical or verbal abuse, extra-marital affairs, or criminal behavior. If your relationship issues involve requirements, your partner must understand that continuation will dissolve the relationship.
    • Preferences are all behaviors that are not requirements. While you may strongly prefer that your partner clean up after himself, you may decide that behavior can be tolerated in light of the overall relationship benefits. But if you decide this is a requirement, it must be clearly indicated as a deal-breaker if no behavior change is made.

Upside of Down Times image

Find the Upside of the Down Times is a small book, but a powerful tool for learning to recover control when bad stuff interrupts your life. To peek inside and order your copy from Amazon click the cover. For more about Dr. Pennington, visit his website.

Pennington’s book assumes a readiness to consider moving forward. This readiness may require getting past the “why me” questions. Many times when life’s negative events drastically change the course of our lives we have a hard time understanding why, why did this happen to me when I’ve done my best to live a good life? For those struggling with these why questions, I recommend Rabbi Harold Kushner’s When Bad Things Happen to Good People (First Anchor Books, 1981).

These two books are perfect complements to each other, providing helpful insights and advice for both the “Why did this happen to me ?” and the “Now what do I do?” questions.

Your Stories

We all face challenges in life and with a bit of self-reflection you may be able to recognize how you’ve grown and benefited by some of the challenges you’ve faced. Pennington seeks your stories at his Find the Upside of the Down Times website.

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