Purposeful Growth

John Izzo’s The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die reveals the recipe for living happy and dying well. This is a terrific little handbook for successful living, unique due to Izzo’s research methodology.

There are two ways to learn life’s lessons. The first is the school of hard knocks, learning by experience is effective, though hard, and requires that we live long enough to learn and benefit from the learning.

The second, an easier way, though not always as effective, is to listen to those who have gone before. Most of us use a combination of the two. Izzo’s book provides an excellent view of life from those who have lived long, wisely, happily, and are still around to expound for the rest of us. Following is an introduction from Izzo.

What are the secrets to happiness and meaning? Why do some people find a deep sense of purpose while they are here and die with few regrets while others end their lives bitter and disappointed?

About two years ago I set out to answer that question by asking several thousand people to identify the one person they knew who had lived a long life and found true happiness. It seemed to me that each of us knows at least one person who achieved true success. After receiving over 1,000 nominations, I interviewed 235 people from the age of 59-106 (who had over 18,000 years of life experience) asking them to reflect back on their lives: What brought happiness? What gave meaning? What did they regret? What did they wish they had learned sooner? What did not matter in the end?

These “wise elders” were an incredibly diverse group ranging from a town barber to CEO’s, from poets to native chiefs, Holocaust survivors to war veterans, and represented all the major religions and cultures of our society. My goal was not to interview famous people but to identify ordinary people who had found extraordinary happiness. What I discovered were five clear themes of what it means to live a happy and

meaningful life (and to die with a smile on your face). In my new book, The Five Secrets You Must Discover before You Die, I share the five true paths to finding meaning in life and show how we can live these secrets.

The first secret I learned from these interviews is Be true to yourself. Each one of us is on a unique human journey and the path to true happiness is to be true to ourselves. This means knowing what brings us happiness and focusing our life on what matters to us. It means reflecting on a regular basis as to whether our life fits our soul. In our daily lives it means knowing what brings us joy and ensuring that we fill our life with the right elements. It also means following our unique destiny. One of the people I interviewed was a Latino woman who talked about the importance of following our “destina.” The idea is that each of us has a path that is most true to us, which is not so much a destination as a way we are meant to be in the world. For example, I am a teacher and philosopher by nature and when I stay close to that path I experience true joy.

Being true to self often means drowning out other voices that would ask us to live their dreams instead of ours. Ron, a gifted chiropractor, told me the story of how he planned to become a medical doctor but when he visited a chiropractor shortly before starting medical school he discovered a profession that connected to his true self. “Others told me I was crazy but I knew it was my path.” He told me that to follow your heart you must have the “discipline to listen and the courage to follow.” This means asking if the life we are living is true to our deepest sense of self and it sometimes requires a step of courage to follow our soul. Are you being true to yourself right now?

For the remaining four secrets, see my full article review, Five Secrets You Must Discover.

Positive psychology, a new field of research into the good life, well-being, and happiness, provides a wealth of useful information for personal development and growth.

The new and rapidly growing field of Positive Psychology is shedding light on what makes us happy, the pursuit of happiness,

and how we can lead more fulfilling, satisfying lives. For many years, the field of psychology concentrated on mental illness. Since Martin Seligman’s landmark book, Authentic Happiness, this new and exciting branch of psychology is focusing on the good life, happiness, and well-being–what it is and how we can pursue the good life with greater success. 

Popular psychology literature, often termed pop-psychology, reflects advice and suggestions based largely on anecdotal evidence and the beliefs of the individual author.

In contrast, the science of positive psychology investigates potential concepts with thorough and statistically sound experiments. Investigation results are subject to peer review and

stringent standards. Because of this, recommendations and findings of positive psychology researchers are more likely to be helpful and useable. 

Many of the concepts and ideas of pop-psychology may turn out to be validated by research and concepts once dismissed may turn out to be of great value.

Though not a psychologist by training, I am deeply interested in the information coming out of positive psychology research as it applies to personal development. The information in my weekly Blog, Good Life Tips, is drawn from readings and coursework of positive psychology. Many of my articles are based on concepts I’ve learned from my positive psychology studies.

We all know that some people are naturally happier than others. You probably know someone who seems to be happy most of the time, who bounces back from set-backs quickly, and is often

looking for the bright side of situations. Research is showing us that we can all do things that move our natural level of happiness farther up the happiness scale. Perhaps forty percent of our total happiness opportunity is within our control–forty percent gives us lots of room to grow toward greater and more consistent happiness. 

For example, try the Good Things activity for one week. Each evening before bedtime, recall three good things that happened to you that day. These don’t have to be earth-shattering or dramatic events. Simple gratifying events such as finishing a report that was due, completing a household chore or repair, finding a good book to read from your library, having a satisfying meal, or just being alive all qualify as good things.

For good measure, savor each event. Let it roll around in your mind for a time, “tasting” its goodness and allowing the good feeling to embrace you. Research indicates this activity correlates with greater feelings of happiness. I feel better after doing this and I predict you will too.

For more of these direct and easy-to-integrate tips, follow my weekly Blog postings titled Good Life Tips.

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If you liked Positive Psychology and Happiness, you’ll probably like Positive Attitude and Affirmations