Purposeful Growth

I’ve chosen to live in tranquility. Not the physical location of Tranquility, USA, but the mental state of tranquility. Just as I choose the location of my physical dwelling, I can choose where I reside mentally and spiritually. I choose tranquility.

Would you like to join me in tranquility or do you prefer to dwell in turmoil? There is ample space available in both locations. There are several subdivisions in each.

Within tranquility there is: peace, love, serenity, joy, and harmony.

In turmoil there is: strife, anger, fear, hatred, and chaos.

Many people will say they would pick tranquility if they had a

choice, but they don’t have the luxury of choice because their world is filled with turmoil. 

I don’t intend to dismiss the seriousness and helpless feeling of those immersed in a tumultuous environment, feeling there is no choice. But there is always choice.

Where we dwell day by day is a choice, regardless of our surroundings, because how we feel inside at any time is up to us. It’s easy to get caught up in the drama of people around us; their moods and problems can be highly contagious. But we can have empathy and support for those we care about without taking on their problems as our own.

Many of us are choosing to dwell in turmoil–perhaps subconsciously–but choosing nonetheless.

The turmoil landscape

Every time we bitterly, angrily contest some life situation we’ve chosen turmoil. Each time we righteously declare what is right or wrong we pick turmoil. Criticizing a spouse over little

things, correcting minor errors publicly, and arguing for the sake of being right puts us squarely in turmoil. 

Deciding to participate in a derisive or demeaning attack on some faction of humans based on a difference–race, religion, gender, politics, or personal behavior–is a choice for turmoil.

The tranquility landscape

But each time we help another being–just for the sheer love of helping another–we choose tranquility. Every time we distance ourselves from those demeaning others as a way of feeling good about themselves, we pick tranquility. Living a life that is always true to self, while allowing others to do the same, is a choice for tranquility.

What about reality?

But, you might say, look at all the anger in the world around us. See the daily reports of killing, rape, combat, cheating, and stealing that goes on around us. How can you ignore it? That’s reality, you might say.

No, that’s not the reality, that’s a reality. Watching it, reading about it, talking about it, and modeling it in your personal environment creates the reality surrounding you. We create the place in which we dwell by where we spend our time, energy, and activities. The place of tranquility exists simultaneously, but we must choose to live within it.

For example, right now there is fighting, killing, theft, and abuse occurring somewhere in the world, probably right in the city where you live. But hopefully, not involving you. You can be involved in pleasant, positive, life affirming activities at the very instant that another person is experiencing a living hell. Which is reality? They are both reality.

Is it “sticking your head in the sand” to live in tranquility while turmoil boils around you, or vice-versa? The issue is not whether both tranquility and turmoil exist in the world–they do exist simultaneously and in parallel, yet worlds apart. The issue is which you choose.

So, where do you choose to live today, tranquility or turmoil? If you’re a long-time resident of turmoil, take a one week vacation and join me in the land of tranquility. Stay there for a week and observe your feelings. Life is easier in the land of tranquility.

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This month’s theme is tranquility, with articles and a free discussion session devoted to achieving a tranquil state. More details on the discussion session in a later post.

Please Share Your Experiences

How do you achieve a peaceful, tranquil state of mind? Your experiences and helpful hints will help others. Please share both your successes and frustrations and ask questions about any aspect of tranquility. Email here.

Related Articles:

Sitting in Judgement and the Easy Life

Us and Them

Living Peace

There Are No Bad Days

Peace and Anger

More on Peace and Anger

Conflict and Choice

Our minds love to judge–assess, evaluate, and decide. Give events a label, put people in categories–that’s what minds do. Many times we use our minds when using our hearts would serve us better. Use your mind to solve a problem–such as what to wear to a party, how to invest the raise you just received, what to do about the funny noise in your car, or how to prepare for a forthcoming job interview. But don’t use your mind to assess, evaluate, and decide that events and other people are good or bad. This is an improper use of the mind–a use which robs you of the natural joy of life.

If you want an easy life, a life without struggle, then judge nothing–no event, no circumstance of life, and no other person–

regardless of how foreign the observation may be to you. Observe the facts of a situation, but refrain from drawing conclusions that label the situation as right,
wrong, good, or bad. Deciding that something is right or wrong for you–given who you choose to be–is one thing, deciding what’s right for another is something to avoid. 

An example may help. Let’s say you see an older man with long hair–hair down to his shoulders. The factual observation you can make is, “that man has hair down to his shoulders.” Taking it one step further, such as, “what’s he trying to prove?” or “there goes another 60’s hippie”, or “he must be gay,” is a step that contributes to the difficulty of your life–not his life, but your life.

Why? Well, as soon as you make that judgment, your mind will start a process of justifying, rationalizing, and confirming. This process will consume surprising amounts of emotion and creative energy, and will extend well beyond the initial observation and judgment. You’ll point out the long-haired offender to others, explaining the offense committed, and seeking approval and confirmation. You’ll be on the lookout for other behaviors from the offender that further reinforce your judgment.

Catch yourself going through this process some time, and then do the following: observe how you feel and notice the tension in your muscles–especially your facial muscles. You may find you feel slightly superior, but I doubt you’ll feel
anything close to joy or love. Notice that your face is tense, your mouth is grim and determined, and your teeth may even be clenched. See the problem now?

If you want an easy life, accept what is and trust that it’s simply perfect. Know that every person is being who they must be at this time–and doing their very best at it. Just as you are

doing your very best at all times–even when it’s not the best you can do–so is everyone else. Use your
mind’s natural problem-solving skills to solve problems. For everything else in your life, use your heart–simply accept and love–unconditionally. 

I promise you that you’ll feel lighter–judging others is a burden.

Related Article:

Ten Steps to an Easy Life