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I’m reprinting this article by Dr. Wayne Dyer without permission. I’m certain Dr. Dyer will not object. His analysis and message about war, what we’ve learned from the past and the mistakes we continue to make, points to the futility of armed conflict.

Jerry

My Turn by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer

The war in Iraq, specifically America’s role of leadership in this war, is a painful invitation to ask ourselves what, if anything, we’ve learned from previous wars. I, like you, am revolted by the brutal killing of hundreds of thousands of innocent people during any war. And, like you, I’m saddened by the apparent inability of human beings to find less violent solutions to conflict and terrorism. What can we learn from previous wars? Are there lessons from past experiences that can help reduce or minimize the likelihood of excessive and unnecessary destruction and devastation of lives and countries, and our future on Earth? I believe the answer is yes! We can learn, and there are lessons available.
In an interview with Errol Morris, Robert McNamara, the former Secretary of Defense during the Vietnam War and the Cuban missile crisis, delineated some lessons from both events. Eighty-five-year-old McNamara, in Morris’s Academy Award-winning documentary, The Fog of War, looks back at the crucial mistakes made by our government in failing to understand our supposed enemy, and even more egregiously, our failure to communicate with those Vietnamese leaders we were assigned to hate and destroy. The lesson? Empathize with your enemy.
Meeting with his North Vietnamese counterpart, described by McNamara as “a wonderful man named Thach,” almost 30 years after pulling out of Vietnam, Thach still insisted that America’s mission was to colonize and enslave the Vietnamese. Thirty years later, McNamara couldn’t convince his former enemy that we believed we were there to protect them from Communist control. In all those years of conflict and killing on both sides, we had never successfully communicated to our enemy why we were fighting and killing them, and we were unable to empathize with what they were experiencing as a civil war. Thach felt they were fighting for their independence and we were fighting to enslave them. Total misunderstanding is the result of failure to empathize. We must learn to find out why we’re so hated and make an attempt to understand each other.
Today we are once again engaged in a gigantic battle with people that we’ve dubbed insurgents or resistance fighters, who seem to be so filled with rancor and rage that they’re willing to sacrifice themselves and their loved ones to destroy the hated Americans. Are we making an effort to understand and empathize with our new enemy; to communicate with those who want to destroy us? Sadly, the first lesson of war offered by an octogenarian who’s been there and seen the folly of fighting an enemy you cannot comprehend, let alone, understand, is still being ignored at a horrendous cost.
Our strategy today, just as it was some 40-plus years ago, is to kill the insurgents even if we must destroy the villages – including schools, mosques, homes, and businesses in the process. After all, we can always rebuild what we’ve torn down. Yet the hatred remains, and force gives birth to counter force. The killing and destruction go on, and the people who witness the total annihilation of their land are future insurgents in the making.
We’re told by those who represent us that the insurgents and the average Iraqi and Middle Easterner hate us because we stand for freedom and democracy. It’s my contention that we have it backwards. We’re hated because we fail to stand for freedom and democracy. In fact, what we do stand for is whatever is best for American financial interests. Under the Shah of Iran, freedom and democracy didn’t exist, yet we supported that regime. The Saudi royal family certainly doesn’t stand for freedom and democracy, yet we have no quarrel with them. The Emir of Kuwait is not about freedom and democracy, and he has our dying loyalty.
The average person on the streets of Iraq isn’t fooled by our occupation of their country. They hate us throughout the Middle East and the Moslem world because we care most about how to make money in foreign lands. They know it and we should know it. But we’re told that it’s our freedom and democracy that engenders this animosity toward us. Residents of Iraq, Iran, Kuwait, Syria, and other countries throughout the Middle East hate us vehemently because they believe that Americans simply can’t figure out how all that American oil got under their sand. They believe that we’re acting in our own self-interest and that we justify destroying their villages and killing insurgents by convincing ourselves that it’s in the name of freedom and democracy.
If all of this is blatantly untrue, and we have no monetary motives in our continual clean-up campaigns that are leaving corpses and severely wounded people by the hundreds of thousands, then let’s make an effort to communicate with those whom we’re now aimlessly killing. I ask each and every person who conducts this war under the guise of Christian principles to answer this question: How much time have you spent praying for your enemy today? Read Jesus in Matthew 5:43-44: You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
Throughout our history, there has been a long list of those we’ve been conditioned to hate. The British, French, Spanish, Germans, Japanese, Russians, Communists, Northern Koreans, Vietnamese, Iranians, Taliban, and both northerners and southerners in our own country are some of the people we’ve been encouraged at various times to call enemies and to hate. The list is long, and as time passes, those we were assigned to hate we later were told should be removed from our hate list. The enemy is obviously hatred itself, and the glassy eyes and the tears rolling down the face of a former wartime Secretary of Defense say it all to me. Have empathy for your assigned enemy.
With empathy you know in your heart that it’s not a sign of weakness to attempt to understand that the people we call terrorists have placed the same label on us, and that the use of force will create a counter force, a never-ending saga of killing and hate. Ending war involves cultivating empathy in our policies and the love of God in our hearts. As the Native Americans reminded us: No tree has branches so foolish as to fight among themselves.

 

Peace is a state of mind.
Peace is not the absence of war; war cannot exist in a state of peace.
War is not an option for peaceful beings.
Peace is a state of mind, an intention to live peacefully with all beings.

Waging war will never bring peace, just a temporary cessation of war.
The last war fuels and justifies the next war.
The last war teaches hatred, domination, and power.
The last war trains leaders for the next war.

Peace is not without conflict.
Conflict is an unavoidable result of the diversity of human desires.
In a state of peace, conflict is resolved without harm to anyone.
Violence does not resolve conflict—it nourishes it.

Peace is possible when each person, community, state, and country has access to life’s necessities, along with a reasonable opportunity to achieve life’s dream.

You and I can bring peace to the world.
How many hundreds or thousands of beings do I encounter in my lifetime?
How many do I influence with a peaceful state of mind?
How many in turn, does each of them influence?

A culture forms person by person over time.
We built this culture of belief that war is acceptable, justifiable, and appropriate.
You and I built this culture step by step, day by day.
We idolize and glamorize violent behavior, praising and teaching violence through entertainment.
We declare wars on poverty, AIDS, and terrorism.
Poverty, AIDS, and terrorism still exist, proof that war energizes its targets.
War is good for the economy, though we would never harbor war for that reason.
Or would we?

We believe war is natural because we’ve been warring for centuries.
People have always killed other people: that’s just the way it is, we say.
We confuse natural with normal.
Normal means a behavior is prevalent and accepted.
Natural means a behavior is inherent.
It is normal to kill others because we created a violent culture.
It is not natural to kill others, contrary to claims that survival behaviors in nature support this thesis.
Humans do not naturally and inherently need to kill to survive.
We’ve decided to kill to resolve our conflicts.
This is the culture we built.

Tomorrow’s culture begins today.
You and I, acting with love, acceptance, and respect, begin to form tomorrow’s culture.
You and I, acting with vengeance, hatred, bigotry, or greed begin to form tomorrow’s culture.

Which culture shall we shape today?

 

Today, July 4th, is Independence Day in the US. Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness–the natural entitlement of each human being, simply by being born.

Just as a country has no right to subjugate another country, no human has the right to control another human. The greatest demonstration of love–in fact, the only true version of love–is to acknowledge, encourage, and support the independence of another.

This day is a good day to reflect upon our relationships with those we claim to love. Do we acknowledge, encourage, and support their independence? Or do we control, manipulate, and diminish them by a version of subjugation masking as love?

Children are not property. Spouses are not property. Employees are not property. In fact, property is not ours, though we think it is. Upon death, property moves on to others. We are merely stewards of land, buildings, and things we think we own.

I’m amused watching the behavior of chipmunks, rabbits, and squirrels around my “property.” They behave, just as I do, as if all this is theirs. They tend homes, forage for food, and have families on their property.

Living in harmony means acknowledging the right of independence for those around us. Have an independent day.

Jerry

 

Mattie Stepanek, a 13 year old poet and peacemaker died this week. Mattie had a rare form of muscular dystrophy, yet it didn’t prevent him from publishing several best selling books of poetry. Nor did it prevent him from taking his peace beliefs on the Oprah and Larry King Live shows.

If you’ve heard the term, Indigo Children, but didn’t know what it meant, think Mattie Stepanek. Wise beyond their (human) years, many with disabilities, these children bring us a message of peace, love, and the interconnected human soul.

Mattie knew that peace is an attitude, that we’ll never achieve lasting peace as a result of waging war. Peace comes from waging peace. Peace comes from a human belief that peace is the only viable path. Mattie urged us to choose peace.

Here’s a young man in a wheelchair, with a breathing tube in his throat, and IV bags hanging at his side, yet with the love of life to write this poem:

Thank You, God,
Not just for life,
But for our journey through life.
Life is a miracle,
And a journey through life
Is so full of so many more miracles
If we travel with our Heartsongs.
Thank You, God,
For blessing me with the
Gift of Heartsongs,
So that I can enjoy my miracles.

“Google” Mattie Stepanek to find more about him and read his poems.

Now, what is it we were complaining about this morning?

Jerry

 

The question, “Who am I?” attracts each of us at some time in our lives. The human quest for meaning and purpose in life begins with asking this question, and is unsuccessful until answered.

Meditation is the normal means for gaining this insight–and it’s a wonderful path to self understanding. Yet many people find it very difficult to meditate. The Western culture is action oriented. We surround ourselves with lots of activities and lots of outside input in the form of radio, TV, cell phones, pagers, palm pilots, etc.

Bombarded with outside noise, we find it very difficult to devote time to being alone with ourselves. When we try, we find ourselves tuned in to a barrage of thoughts bouncing around our minds. Meditation requires finding a place where thoughts are absent–and this is tough to do for many people.

But there is a way to gain some measure of self-understanding, even if meditation hasn’t been effective. Look around. The environment we each create for ourselves mirrors who we are being, because that’s where we’re most comfortable. So a good first step toward answering the “Who am I?” question is to observe your surroundings.

Does your home stimulate activity or reflection? Do your friends stimulate conflict, peace, reflection, action, love, anger, frustration, …You get the picture.

Without judging yourself, look around you and see your surroundings. You have created this environment, consciously or subconsciously. It mirrors who you are now being, not who you wish to be, nor who you could be, but who you are now.

What does it tell you?

Jerry

 

Please visit my web site, YourCoachtoSuccess.com.

Revenge is a dish best served cold.
Forgive and forget.

When someone wrongs you which path do you take? Vengeance or Forgiveness?
Some quote the Bible’s “eye for an eye,” as justification for vengeance. Others quote “turn the other cheek,” as justification for forgiving.

There’s a certain sense of justice-served in the act of vengeance. Yet, I believe that we are best served as individuals when what we do feels good to us–a good feeling deep down within. Does revenge ever feel that way? Not to me it hasn’t. There may be a brief feeling of self-satisfaction from striking back, but the overarching feeling is anything but good–certainly nowhere near peace, serenity, or joy.

So I favor the strategy of forgive and forget. What do you favor? I’m anxious to hear your comments.

Jerry

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