Personal Development » 2/29 » Purposeful Growth

Take the Mystery Out of Finding Your Life Purpose

Life Purpose, Personal Development No Responses »

Jan 202012

Flikr user gfpeck CC Attr

Is the purpose of your life a mystery to you, leaving you wondering what it’s all about? Do you wonder if there even is a meaning and purpose to your life?

Yes, there is a purpose to your life and finding it is the reason you’re alive. The journey and adventure of living is simultaneously simple and complex. Focus on the simple sides of life: discover what brings meaning and purpose to your life, purposefully align your life with these qualities and activities, and enjoy a fulfilling, satisfying life.

Unfortunately, too often, we focus on life’s complexities: trying to understand the undefinable, competing to accumulate material goods, chasing the dreams of other people instead of our own, searching for meaning and happiness through other people, and living a busy, but unfulfilling life.

You have a unique life purpose which was built-in when you arrived. It’s been there your entire life, waiting patiently to be uncovered. When you uncover/discover your life purpose, the fun begins and life becomes the fulfilling adventure it was meant to be.

This is not an article about the one best way for you to find your life purpose. I’m not going to tell you what your life purpose is; that discovery is your unique right and responsibility. There is no one best way; there are many, many ways, though all involve similar explorations of self-reflection and understanding. This article introduces the basic concepts of life purpose, building the foundation for exploring various ways of finding your unique purpose.

Life Purpose: It’s not what you do, it’s who you are

Life Purpose is the set of beliefs, characteristics, and qualities that enable a life of meaning, fulfillment, and happiness. This important concept is crucial to the success of your journey to find purpose. Notice that the way I’ve defined life purpose does not include anything you do. The things you do, though they are very important and may give you great satisfaction, are not—in themselves—your purpose. They relate to your purpose because in doing these things you are able to express and experience your purpose. But what you do is not your purpose; your purpose is much bigger than a current role or responsibility.

This is a very important concept, one that will free you to see your life with greater perspective. But what of the passionate parent who feels the importance and value of parenthood? Isn’t that a life purpose? No, it’s how he or she experiences purpose.

Consider this, shouldn’t a life purpose be valid throughout the entire span of a person’s life? No role or responsibility you now hold or aspire to hold can cover your entire life. Brad Swift explains it this way: he likens life purpose to the vessel containing and shaping your life. Your life is shaped and given direction by the purpose which surrounds and forms it.

Regardless of the means that help you understand this abstract concept, ponder the previous paragraphs and I feel certain you’ll begin to see the value of taking this broad, life-long view of purpose.

Image Courtesy Life on Purpose Institute

Example Life Purpose

Perhaps an example of my purpose will be helpful.

My life purpose is to be peaceful, unconditionally loving, courageous and unafraid of rejection or failure, growing continuously, and using my insights and other strengths in the service of others, while allowing my life to flow as it will.

With these characteristics focusing my life, I can do many, many things, radically different activities, yet still feel the joy and satisfaction of fulfilling my life purpose. And this definition of my purpose is valid for my entire lifetime.

Think of your life purpose in the context of strong qualities and characteristics that have helped you throughout your life, and in the process have left you feeling happy and fulfilled—feeling like the real you.

In the next article I’ll focus on the one true indicator that you’re aligned with purpose.

Is Fear Keeping You From Your Life Purpose?

Fear, Life Purpose, Personal Development No Responses »

Jan 122012

Lucia Flikr CC Attr

What’s keeping you from working whole-heartedly to find your life purpose? Despite the attraction of discovering a purpose to your life and knowing for sure the reason for your being alive, there may be one or more fears that are holding you back subconsciously.

Motivational speaker and retired Master Air Force Sergeant Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, AKA The Pink Biker Chic identifies eleven common fears. Her premise on overcoming fear is that you must first identify the fears holding you back before you can break free of the hold they have on you.

Four Fears Holding You Back

I’ve selected four of Lewis-Fernandez’s eleven fears to illustrate how one or more of these might be keeping you subconsciously resistant to discovering your true purpose in life.

1.0 “Fear of Success – This is actually a fear of achieving your dreams and standing out. Fear of the attention you will receive should you actually realize success… We all have things we want to achieve in life but, by giving into this particular fear, you lose faith in yourself and your abilities, and also faith in those who truly have your best interest at heart and want to see you succeed.”

Though it might seem silly at first to think that the fear of success can keep you from achieving your dreams, it’s actually a very common fear—one I’ve dealt with myself. Finding your true life purpose carries with it an inherent responsibility to live up to that purpose. That’s where the fears creep in. What if you can’t live up to it? What if your life purpose places you in an unpopular position relative to your friends and family?

Rest assured, there is nothing more beautiful and more attractive to others than someone who is fully aligned with purpose. Living in alignment is authentic and attractive, filling the individual with an inner beauty and energy that is much admired by others.

2.0 “Fear of (Inner) Power – (Inner) Power is your proverbial fuel source – where your inner strength emanates from, (and) your passions burn bright. It’s the juice that allows you to keep going in the face of adversity.”

The inner power of living a meaningful life aligned with purpose is the juice that makes you jump out of bed in the morning raring to go. It’s the fuel that attracts others to your integrity and authenticity. Your friends will say you’ve “got it all together.”

The fear that your inner power will cause you to stand out is real. You will stand out, but in such a positive, attractive way that you’ll be amazed you ever feared the result.

3.0 “Fear of Failure – All too often we stop short of attempting something new for fear we might embarrass our self or, worse, fail all together…failure is part of the road toward success and should not be feared but embraced as an opportunity for growth.”

In reality, when searching for the meaningful, fulfilling life you can’t fail. It’s there, deep within your inner wisdom. It’s been there since you were born. Every step you take toward discovering your purpose brings you valuable insight. Every approach, even those that fail to bring insight is a small success, even if you only rule out aspects of your purpose.

4.0 “Fear of Vulnerability – While it can be uncomfortable and downright scary to open your self up and expose your true inner self and your ideas and aspirations to others of importance in your life, doing so can be cathartic – and a true turning point in effecting positive change. Letting down your guard takes courage and strength, and allowing yourself to be vulnerable can help you better relate with people on a more intimate and personal level.”

This might be the biggest fear holding you back. It does take great courage to not only find your life purpose but to declare it to the world. And declare it you will. Once you know your purpose, your words and actions will begin reflecting your purpose. Others will see you for who you are, and they’ll love you for it.

The first time I declared my life purpose, writing it in an article that I published, believe me, I was afraid. Afraid of ridicule and rejection I might receive. But it didn’t happen. It was freeing to make the declaration, and now I do it regularly.

Identify Fears Blocking Life Purpose

If you’ve been on the verge of jumping into a full-blown effort to find your life purpose, but for some reason back down or stop short, one or more of these fears might be holding you back. Look in the mirror, accept and acknowledge the fear(s) as your first step along that wonderful journey to a meaningful, fulfilling life.

Image Courtesy Life on Purpose Institute

Thanks to: Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez, an engaging motivational speaker known internationally as The Pink Biker Chic – a brand developed to empower individuals to take control of the handlebars of their lives through the power of PINK: Power, Integrity, Negotiation and Knowledge. Don’t let the pink fool you. Retired Air Force Master Sergeant Eldonna Lewis-Fernandez is a force to be reckoned with. She trains women and men how to re-think and re-direct their energies for higher performance and better bottom-line professional and personal decisions. She may be reached online at www.PinkBikerChic.com

Find the Purpose of your Life

Beliefs, Life Purpose, Personal Development, Success No Responses »

Dec 212011

Do you wonder what life is all about, wondering if this is all there is to life?
There is more to life than a job,a family, and lots of stuff to do, there’s a purpose to your life.

For those regularly following my articles, you’ve seen that I regularly return to the topic of life purpose. It’s really that important to personal growth. That’s why my main domain name is PurposefulGrowth.com—growth on purpose, intentional growth using life purpose as a foundation.

The Beautiful Benefits of Knowing Life Purpose

Do you go, go, go all day every day, but have the lingering feeling that something is very wrong, something is missing that should be there?
You’re right, the something that’s missing in your life is purpose, the real purpose of your life.

Flickr.com user Mia Coffee Snow, CC Attribution License

Knowing my life purpose has brought me fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, and a guiding vision for my life. It didn’t come easily or quickly, but when it came it arrived with a burst of clarity and joy that I can still feel.

I was no different than most people, going about my life’s routines all the while trying to answer those two haunting questions: Who am I? and Why am I here?

These are universal questions that all humans ask themselves at some time in their lives. We’re born with the drive to make sense of our lives. Without having an underlying purpose to our lives we feel incomplete, like something is missing. The material goods we accumulate and the goals we achieve aren’t enough.

Even the loving relationships in our lives aren’t enough to offset the feelings that something is missing…until we find the answers. That day when it all became clear to me was the culmination of working along several paths of inquiry and exploration. There’s no one best way for a person to discover his or her life purpose. For each of us, it’s an inner journey of reflection, retrospection, inquiry and exploration.

Stream of Consciousness for Discovering Life Purpose

Have you convinced yourself that your current work or an important role in your life is your purpose?
It isn’t, though it may be related to your purpose.

On that wonderful day for me, I was using a stream of consciousness approach recommended by Steve Pavlina. It’s a simple process: Start with a blank sheet of paper or text document. At the top write

My Life Purpose Is

Then start writing. Write whatever comes into your consciousness, without editing or thinking. Write until you have a strong emotional response. When the right words spilled out on the screen I cried. Tears of joy were accompanied by a tremendous feeling of love, relief, and knowing. I knew my life purpose.

Finding your life purpose is an inside job, a job of self-reflection, of understanding self, and of piecing together the insights that come from serious pursuit of purpose. Stream of consciousness writing is but one way to tap into your inner wisdom for the insights necessary to find the life that is meaningful and fulfilling.

My Life Purpose Example

For those struggling with defining a sufficiently meaningful life, the example of my life purpose may be helpful.

My life purpose is to love unconditionally, to be peaceful, to be courageous and unafraid of failure and rejection, to grow continuously, and to use my insights and other strengths in the service of others while allowing my life to unfold as it will.

That’s it. Notice the lack of “doing” things. Most peoples’ quest for life purpose gets sidetracked because they’re looking for the things they should be doing in life. But that’s the wrong approach. We’re human beings, not human doings. I know you’ve heard that before, but it’s critical to realize that your life purpose is defined by qualities and characteristics. These are states of being. They describe who you are.

The doing part of being human results from the being part. As I love unconditionally I express that quality by the things I do. First comes unconditional love, then comes the resulting behavior.

As I mentioned earlier, there’s no one best way to find your life purpose. Any process that aids in your journey of self-reflection and insight will guide you toward finding your life purpose. I’m sure I haven’t tried them all, but I have used many, many processes and will soon be writing more about various processes for finding your life purpose.

Brad Swift’s Video Coaching Series

One that I’ve just completed is Brad Swift’s Life on Purpose Video Coaching series. Swift’s book, Life on Purpose: Six Passages to an Inspired Life is one that I include in my list of best books. So I was pleased to get the opportunity to review his video coaching series.

The series includes fifteen coaching videos by Swift with an accompanying comprehensive downloadable workbook. I went through the entire process, just as you might, watching each video, taking extensive notes, and filling out the exercises (calls-to-action) in the workbook. It took me about 30 days, allowing some time between sessions for reflection on the material.

Conclusion? This is a very good tool for those serious about finding life purpose. Swift covers the basic foundation concept of being vs. doing very well. It’s an abstract concept which is difficult for many. His explanation will be helpful to many people. The exercises help you to uncover and explore the beliefs you hold subconsciously that are guiding your life, preventing you from seeing your true purpose. Swift calls these beliefs your inherited life purpose to distinguish from true life purpose.

The videos covering creating your true life purpose are a bit lengthy and slow moving, but effective. A series of 15 or so tools to help you keep your daily life aligned with purpose are very effective and will help you keep from “slipping back” into your previous life habits. The videos are of good quality, with a homespun appearance. No flash and dash, just Brad Swift leading you through the process.

The series is very good and I heartily recommend The Life on Purpose Video Coaching Series to you. Though I often recommend personal growth books, I’ve never recommended a non-book product or service. I’m so impressed with Swift’s product that I’ve accepted an invitation to become an affiliate. Though I’ll still write about finding life purpose and will likely put out a brief ebook on the topic, Swift has developed an excellent and reasonably priced product that I’ve decided to promote as an affiliate rather than any attempt at duplicating/improving his product.

Finding Your Life Purpose is Fundamental to Personal Development

If you’re serious about personal growth and development, you absolutely must spend the effort to find the life components that make your life meaningful and fulfilling. Whether you believe in a divinely inspired life purpose is not important. What is important to your happiness is that you find meaning and purpose in your daily life. You’re at your best when your life has meaning, so if success with inner happiness is important to you, build your life on a foundation of purpose.

An outstanding path to your purpose in life is the Life on Purpose Video Coaching Series.

Use These Stress-Reducing Shortcuts to Inner Peace

Changing Habits, Health, Peacefulness, Personal Development, Positive Attitude No Responses »

Nov 082011

Image courtesy Planned TV Arts

Burdened with a stressful life? No time for yourself, no fun in your days? All the experts will tell you to meditate, take yoga classes, get a massage, become mindful, learn to deep breathe, and get centered on the present. Good advice, and it helps, but you may be among those who just can’t seem to find the time to learn meditation.

First time meditators generally are disappointed. It takes practice—lots of practice—to learn to quiet your mind and receive the stress-reducing benefits of meditation and mindfulness practices.

Author and psychotherapist Ashley Davis Bush may have the answer to a busy person’s prayers for stress relief with her new release, Shortcuts to Inner Peace: 70 Simple Paths to Everyday Serenity. With her own busy life as a professional therapist, wife, and mother of five, Bush admits she struggled to find meditation time, too.

Then she had an epiphany of sorts—doesn’t everyone, even very busy people, find the time to brush their teeth, shower, use the restroom, and all the other routines of daily life? Sure, we all find time for those necessities, they’ve become habits. So what if we had short stress-reducing activities that we could use while doing our necessary daily habits and routines?

That’s the theme of her book, resulting in 70 shortcuts you can use to prepare yourself in advance for those stressful moments in your busy day.

Before describing her shortcut strategies, let’s explore stress and why the traditional recommendations for stress relief often fail us.

What is Stress?

Stress is a reaction to a stimulating event. Most of us have automatic reactions to certain types of stimulating events, reactions which bring our minds and bodies into stress-mode; adrenalin pumps, blood pressure increases, and we focus on the fight or flight reaction built into our genetics as a survival mode. But most of the stress inducing circumstances we face are not life threatening, but health threatening.

You’re running late for work, but traffic grinds to a halt on the freeway—you’ll be late and your customer hates that. Or this scenario, you’ve just enough time to make the appointment with a crucial customer so you load your presentation on your flash drive to get underway, but your computer locks up—no presentation, late for the customer, chances of a sale go down the drain.

We’ve formed habitual responses to these types of stimulating events—anger, frustration, ranting, and blaming ourselves and the world for conspiring to bring failure into our lives. While it would be nice to stop and meditate while the computer decides whether it will free up or die, meditation takes time, the lack of which is part of the problem. What’s needed is an habitual response to potentially negative stimulating events that is quick, easy, and effective. Habitual response is the key phrase here. Unless we’ve routinely practiced responses, they won’t be habitual, we won’t remember to use them, and if we try, we won’t have practiced them enough to be effective.

The Stress-Reducing Shortcuts

What if every time you washed your hands you repeated a phrase or two, such as: “go with the flow, accept what happens and move on,” or “send my negative reactions of anger, swearing, and vindictiveness down the drain, wash them away?” How many times does a person wash their hands in a day, five, ten, twenty? Repeating these phrases ten or twenty times a day for two or three weeks will habituate a stress-reducing reaction to the next negative event. Computer freezes? Frustration goes down the drain, figure out how to get it up and running. Stuck in traffic? Anger goes down the drain and you have some time to recall your last vacation.

Shortcuts to Inner Peace offers seventy shortcuts from which to pick; all are brief and tied to everyday events to make them easy to practice. For example, Morning Glories, named after the flower which opens up each day, helps us practice starting each day with a positive expectation, welcoming a new day of being alive.

These shortcuts work because—once habituated—they interrupt the negative unconscious reactions we previously had to stressful circumstances, providing tools for redirecting us to more positive, supportive thoughts and reactions.

Bush calls this process awareness, redirection, and restoration. Awareness of our unconscious negative reactions to an event helps us see a potential downward spiral of anger or anxiety and interrupt it. Redirection results when we notice the unwelcome reaction and consciously redirect our thoughts to more positive, supportive ones. Restoration of calm and peace results.

Once you understand the process, design your own shortcuts. Each night when I climb into bed I recall three good things that happened during the day; recalling the goodness of even the most mundane event is relaxing and affirming of my appreciation of life. My wife, upon entering a local supermarket, typically overflowing with food choices, never fails to appreciate the abundance of our lives.

Tying everyday occurrences to reminders of what’s really important in our lives is a great way to stay centered and focused on the wonders of being alive. Some of Ashley Davis Bush’s shortcuts are sure to work for you.

For more information on reducing stress read these:

Strategies for Stress: How to Deal with the Stress of Bad Times

The Stress of Values Conflicts

Three Steps to Relieve the Stress of Work

Be Beautiful, Talented, Capable, & Make a Difference

Beliefs, Changing Habits, Fear, Love, Personal Development, Positive Attitude, Success 2 Responses »

Oct 292011

I learned of this great little ebook that’s a perfect gift for people who fail to realize or refuse to accept their talents, beauty, and abilities. This can truly be a gift that makes a difference in someone’s life, maybe yours.

Courtesy Stephanie Voss

If you’ve been told you’re attractive but sloughed it off assuming the other person was either blind, wanted something from you, or didn’t get around much, Stephanie Voss’s new ebook, If I Could Tell You Just One Thing It Would Be This, is perfect for you.

If you admire people who accomplish things in their lives, but know you could never do the same, this book is for you.

If you’d love to be somebody, but feel like you’re nobody, this book is for you.

Looking in the Mirror

How many people can look in the mirror and sincerely tell themselves, “You are wise,” or “You can make a difference in this world?”

Most of us tend to focus on our weaknesses, our inabilities, our physical limitations, and our past mistakes, proving we’re not enough: not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or competent enough. Sadly, we have lots of help at this as so many people—even those who love us—find endless opportunities to “help us improve” by pointing out our failures and blemishes. Rather than helping us improve, this feedback often simply reinforces our negative views of self. Proving we’re not enough.

Voss gently guides the reader through ten powerful statements that many people refuse to make about the person they see in the mirror, such as “I am good,” “I am capable,” or “I am wise.”

Using personal examples and encouraging the reader to focus on her own experiences showing wisdom, capability, helpfulness, and loving, Voss helps the reader focus on the real person God created before the doubts, criticisms, and jealousies of others diminished her self-esteem and confidence.

Can If I Could Tell You One Thing Help?

Voss’s book will help you, or someone you love, reconnect with the beautiful, capable, powerful person God created. Though a bit pricey for an ebook at $14.99, it’s still a great value if it helps you accept and utilize your inherent talents and abilities. It appears to be available only in pdf format at this time.

Give yourself or someone you love the opportunity to live the life God intended with this wonderful little reminder of the greatness of each person.

For more information visit the home page of If I Could Tell You One Thing.

Full Disclosure: I’m not affiliated in any way with Voss or her book, nor do I profit from the sale of her book. I simply like this book and sincerely believe it can be a blessing to many people.

Choosing the Right Career Path

Goal Setting, Personal Development, Plans, Success 2 Responses »

Oct 262011

Flikr user aloshbennett, cc

Consider yourself fortunate if you’re among the very few whose life work is fulfilling, satisfying, and enjoyable. Sadly, most people are unhappy in their jobs. But how do you pick the right work for you? As a young person, or someone starting over, how do you decide which path to take?

Jack Lundee submitted a potential guest article which got me thinking about this topic, even though I’ve chosen not to use the article intact. Jack’s topic was the common situation of a young person studying a particular discipline in college or other schooling, but then evolving into an entirely different career (possibly more than one). Lundee’s point was that this happens commonly, and people can be highly successful despite doing something for which they did not receive specific training.

Knowing Your Strengths and Weaknesses

This reminded me of the importance of knowing our strengths and passions, and carving out lifetime work that makes the most of each. The researchers of positive psychology have identified validated means for each of us to identify and capitalize on our strengths. Best of all, the information is widely available and affordable. Whether you do best with a book, a class, or self-assessment questionnaires, these vehicles are available and easily utilized.

Though anyone with a strong sense of self-awareness will eventually come to understand what they’re really good at, the strengths which help them excel, this process, left to its own, can take many years. The process can be accelerated by taking strength self-assessment questionnaires available online or reading a good book devoted to finding your strengths. I’ll identify the online questionnaires and books I recommend ..

Benefits of Using Your Strengths

The benefits to a person’s career and life-happiness can be immense. Those fortunate enough to have lives well-aligned with their strengths and passions are known to be happier, more successful, and healthier—goals common to most of us.

What you might apply yourself to in your personal and professional life is not so important as whether whatever you select gives you the opportunity to utilize your strengths and experience your passions. In my own case, I studied engineering, a relatively good choice given how little I knew of myself, but my analytical and evaluative strengths allowed me to do well in my studies as well as my early engineering career.

Other strengths took hold later in my career, after being promoted into engineering management. There, my strengths of fairness, judgment, insight, and teamwork helped me to lead effective teams. Gradually, I evolved into coaching for improved on-the-job performance, and then into life coaching for greater happiness and satisfaction, again using combinations of my strengths.

The point here is that our strengths, once known and well-polished, enable us to do many things successfully. In fact, the variety of new challenges and responsibilities is energizing and satisfying, providing personal and professional growth in areas we can’t possibly foresee in our youth.

Regardless of your stage of life, get to know the real you, your strengths, passions, and—best of all—your life purpose.

Resources for Finding Your Strengths

This article, Build Your Personal Growth Plans Around Strengths, elaborates on processes for finding your strengths and identifies two online self-assessment questionnaire sites and two outstanding books for finding your strengths.

My highly rated Sample Personal Development Plan eBook recognizes the importance of strengths in personal development by including finding your strengths as one of the foundational modules of growth.

Older Entries Newer Entries

Purposeful Growth