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Personal Growth Resources 

How Many of Our Beliefs are Lies?

 Beliefs, Fear, Personal Development  5 Responses »
Feb 132013
 

It’s interesting to note that the word belief contains the word lie. In fact, it’s true that much of what we believe to be true is not true. Many of our truths are buried deep within our subconscious minds, surfacing in automatic behaviors that we seldom question.

If asked to give a short presentation do you automatically respond with “No, I can’t do that, I’m not a good speaker?” Reflect on your automatic responses that begin with “I don’t” or “I can’t.” Think about how these statement finish. These may be self-limiting beliefs that limit what you allow yourself to do, and therefore are limiting who you allow yourself to become.

I’ve given many presentations and workshops, and am completely comfortable doing these. But for many years I professed that “I could never appear on TV.” And then I did, and it was quite enjoyable. I had limited myself needlessly.

I recently interviewed Dr. John McGrail, author of The Synthesis Effect. Dr. McGrail is a well-known personal development expert, knowledgeable in the workings of the human mind. I specifically wanted to hear Dr. McGrail’s views on self-limiting beliefs, how we form them, how they limit us, and how we can overcome them.

Dr. McGrail describes the most frequent self-limiting beliefs, how his process helps people overcome them, and who is most likely to be effective in overcoming these limitations. I think you’ll find his responses interesting and useful.

Read the full interview with Dr. McGrail here >>>.

Jerry

Susan Cain’s Quiet: An Introvert’s Validation

 Beliefs, Personal Development  3 Responses »
Jan 172013
 

Do you feel something’s wrong with you because you’d prefer a quiet evening at home to a boisterous party?

Do you know you need to network to grow your business, but it’s just so exhausting you avoid it?

Quiet

Image courtesy Random House

If the preceding statements resonated with you, like many of us, you’re probably an introvert, a word that has negative connotations in Western cultures. According to Susan Cain and her recent book, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking (Crown Publishers, 2012), don’t fret, you’re in good company.

Estimates of the extent of introversion in America range from thirty to fifty-percent, a range that’s probably higher in Eastern cultures. Some of the great minds and contributors to humanity have been and are introverts, among them: scientists Sir Issac Newton and Albert Einstein, the poet Yeats, the composer Chopin, cartoonist Charles Schulz, film producer Steven Spielberg, and Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling.

Pretty good company. Yet most of us who tend to introversion somehow feel we’re lacking in precious social skills. Thanks to Cain and her exhaustive research, introversion may reach a place of honor alongside extroversion.

Or maybe it won’t. Cain describes in detail how extroversion has become the cultural favored personal characteristic. An extrovert’s outgoing nature, charming personality, assertiveness, and social skills have become the personality set of choice for those selected into leadership roles. The leading business and educational institutions foster, encourage, and reward those displaying an extrovert’s characteristics.

Thanks to Cain and her research, introverts the world over can now hold their heads up higher and take pride in their skill sets.

What’s important, according to Cain, is that the desirability of introversion or extroversion is situational. Circumstances determine which personality will flourish. Studies show that it’s the degree of initiative and risk-taking by employees that determines whether an introverted or extroverted leader is best. In situations where reward attraction can influence decisions, such as the stock market, an experienced day-trader says introverts, such as Warren Buffet, make better risk-reward decisions.

What’s important for introverts and extroverts alike is to recognize their strengths and weaknesses, making maximum use of their strengths and minimizing dependence on their weaknesses. Become aware of your strengths and weaknesses and accept them as part of who you are.

Books from Personal Growth Resources

What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose? is the latest in the Personal Growth Resources series of personal growth books. Other books in the series include:

Watch for future articles on this site. Better yet, Subscribe to Your Purposeful Growth Update by email.

Jerry Lopper – Personal Growth Resources

Build your life on a foundation of purpose

 

Find the Purpose of your Life

 Beliefs, Life Purpose, Personal Development, Success  No Responses »
Dec 212011
 

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Do you wonder what life is all about, wondering if this is all there is to life?
    There is more to life than a job,a family, and lots of stuff to do, there’s a purpose to your life.

For those regularly following my articles, you’ve seen that I regularly return to the topic of life purpose. It’s really that important to personal growth. That’s why my main domain name is PurposefulGrowth.com—growth on purpose, intentional growth using life purpose as a foundation.

The Beautiful Benefits of Knowing Life Purpose

Do you go, go, go all day every day, but have the lingering feeling that something is very wrong, something is missing that should be there?
    You’re right, the something that’s missing in your life is purpose, the real purpose of your life.

Image of Purpose

Flickr.com user Mia Coffee Snow, CC Attribution License

Knowing my life purpose has brought me fulfillment, satisfaction, joy, and a guiding vision for my life. It didn’t come easily or quickly, but when it came it arrived with a burst of clarity and joy that I can still feel.

I was no different than most people, going about my life’s routines all the while trying to answer those two haunting questions: Who am I? and Why am I here?

These are universal questions that all humans ask themselves at some time in their lives. We’re born with the drive to make sense of our lives. Without having an underlying purpose to our lives we feel incomplete, like something is missing. The material goods we accumulate and the goals we achieve aren’t enough.

Even the loving relationships in our lives aren’t enough to offset the feelings that something is missing…until we find the answers. That day when it all became clear to me was the culmination of working along several paths of inquiry and exploration. There’s no one best way for a person to discover his or her life purpose. For each of us, it’s an inner journey of reflection, retrospection, inquiry and exploration.

Stream of Consciousness for Discovering Life Purpose

Have you convinced yourself that your current work or an important role in your life is your purpose?
It isn’t, though it may be related to your purpose.

On that wonderful day for me, I was using a stream of consciousness approach recommended by Steve Pavlina. It’s a simple process: Start with a blank sheet of paper or text document. At the top write

My Life Purpose Is

Then start writing. Write whatever comes into your consciousness, without editing or thinking. Write until you have a strong emotional response. When the right words spilled out on the screen I cried. Tears of joy were accompanied by a tremendous feeling of love, relief, and knowing. I knew my life purpose.

Finding your life purpose is an inside job, a job of self-reflection, of understanding self, and of piecing together the insights that come from serious pursuit of purpose. Stream of consciousness writing is but one way to tap into your inner wisdom for the insights necessary to find the life that is meaningful and fulfilling.

My Life Purpose Example

For those struggling with defining a sufficiently meaningful life, the example of my life purpose may be helpful.

My life purpose is to love unconditionally, to be peaceful, to be courageous and unafraid of failure and rejection, to grow continuously, and to use my insights and other strengths in the service of others while allowing my life to unfold as it will.

That’s it. Notice the lack of “doing” things. Most peoples’ quest for life purpose gets sidetracked because they’re looking for the things they should be doing in life. But that’s the wrong approach. We’re human beings, not human doings. I know you’ve heard that before, but it’s critical to realize that your life purpose is defined by qualities and characteristics. These are states of being. They describe who you are.

The doing part of being human results from the being part. As I love unconditionally I express that quality by the things I do. First comes unconditional love, then comes the resulting behavior.

As I mentioned earlier, there’s no one best way to find your life purpose. Any process that aids in your journey of self-reflection and insight will guide you toward finding your life purpose. I’m sure I haven’t tried them all, but I have used many, many processes and will soon be writing more about various processes for finding your life purpose.

Brad Swift’s Video Coaching Series

One that I’ve just completed is Brad Swift’s Life on Purpose Video Coaching series. Swift’s book, Life on Purpose: Six Passages to an Inspired Life is one that I include in my list of best books. So I was pleased to get the opportunity to review his video coaching series.

The series includes fifteen coaching videos by Swift with an accompanying  comprehensive downloadable workbook. I went through the entire process, just as you might, watching each video, taking extensive notes, and filling out the exercises (calls-to-action) in the workbook. It took me about 30 days, allowing some time between sessions for reflection on the material.

Conclusion? This is a very good tool for those serious about finding life purpose. Swift covers the basic foundation concept of being vs. doing very well. It’s an abstract concept which is difficult for many. His explanation will be helpful to many people. The exercises help you to uncover and explore the beliefs you hold subconsciously that are guiding your life, preventing you from seeing your true purpose. Swift calls these beliefs your inherited life purpose to distinguish from true life purpose.

Find Your Life Purpose

The videos covering creating your true life purpose are a bit lengthy and slow moving, but effective. A series of 15 or so tools to help you keep your daily life aligned with purpose are very effective and will help you keep from “slipping back” into your previous life habits. The videos are of good quality, with a homespun appearance.  No flash and dash, just Brad Swift leading you through the process.

The series is very good and I heartily recommend The Life on Purpose Video Coaching Series to you. Though I often recommend personal growth books, I’ve never recommended a non-book product or service. I’m so impressed with Swift’s product that I’ve accepted an invitation to become an affiliate. Though I’ll still write about finding life purpose and will likely put out a brief ebook on the topic, Swift has developed an excellent and reasonably priced product that I’ve decided to promote as an affiliate rather than any attempt at duplicating/improving his product.

Finding Your Life Purpose is Fundamental to Personal Development

If you’re serious about personal growth and development, you absolutely must spend the effort to find the life components that make your life meaningful and fulfilling. Whether you believe in a divinely inspired life purpose is not important. What is important to your happiness is that you find meaning and purpose in your daily life. You’re at your best when your life has meaning, so if success with inner happiness is important to you, build your life on a foundation of purpose.

Two Good Options for Finding Your Purpose

My recently released book, What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose?, is a great place to start. What is Life all About? provides you with twelve paths to finding your unique life purpose. One or more of these is sure to work for you! This book has garnered excellent early reviews.

A second good option path to your purpose in life is the Life on Purpose Video Coaching Series.

Books from Personal Growth Resources

What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose? is the latest in the Personal Growth Resources series of personal growth books. Other books in the series include:

Watch for future articles on this site. Better yet, Subscribe to Your Purposeful Growth Update by email.

Jerry Lopper – Personal Growth Resources

Build your life on a foundation of purpose

Problems and Opportunities

 Beliefs, Changing Habits, Positive Attitude, Success  No Responses »
Dec 162011
 

I tweeted today that “Today’s problem is your opportunity for personal growth. Don’t fight it, don’t waste it.” Taking a cue from Jeffrey Gitomer, I thought I’d expand on this a bit.

Opportunity or Problem?

In my working career for a Fortune 100 company, when the boss came in my office and dumped a problem on me, describing it as an opportunity, I fought it big-time, and probably wasted lots of personal and professional growth chances in the process.

Rather than accept the opportunity side of the situation, I focused on the additional work I’d have to do and how I resented having to rearrange my day’s priorities to take on this new “opportunity.” Of course, in my state of resentfulness it wasn’t an opportunity, it was a problem weakly disguised in boss-speak.

Maybe my anger reflected that I knew at some level the boss was right, but I didn’t want to acknowledge and accept it from someone else. I’ve always liked being in control of my situations, but of course a boss is a boss, and even the bosses I liked I probably also for the “opportunities” they gave me.

With hindsight, I’ve come to realize that I learn very little when I’m coasting along at my own pace, doing my own things. When I learn the most is when some problem, adversity, or difficult situation presents itself. Then I learn. A difficult problem forces me to be focused, creative, fully engaged, and open to the ideas and assistance of others. All the good components of success.

Why fight today’s problem, even though it disrupts your plans? It really is an opportunity, so don’t wasted it.
My highly rated Sample Personal Development Plan eBook recognizes the importance of strengths in personal development by including finding your strengths as one of the foundational modules of growth.

What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose? is the latest in the Personal Growth Resources series of personal growth books. Other books in the series include:

Watch for future articles on this site. Better yet, Subscribe to Your Purposeful Growth Update by email.

Jerry Lopper – Personal Growth Resources

Build your life on a foundation of purpose

Be Beautiful, Talented, Capable, & Make a Difference

 Beliefs, Changing Habits, Fear, Love, Personal Development, Positive Attitude, Success  2 Responses »
Oct 292011
 

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I learned of this great little ebook that’s a perfect gift for people who fail to realize or refuse to accept their talents, beauty, and abilities. This can truly be a gift that makes a difference in someone’s life, maybe yours.

Ebook Cover

Courtesy Stephanie Voss

If you’ve been told you’re attractive but sloughed it off assuming the other person was either blind, wanted something from you, or didn’t get around much, Stephanie Voss’s new ebook, If I Could Tell You Just One Thing It Would Be This, is perfect for you.

If you admire people who accomplish things in their lives, but know you could never do the same, this book is for you.

If you’d love to be somebody, but feel like you’re nobody, this book is for you.

Looking in the Mirror

How many people can look in the mirror and sincerely tell themselves, “You are wise,” or “You can make a difference in this world?”

Most of us tend to focus on our weaknesses, our inabilities, our physical limitations, and our past mistakes, proving we’re not enough: not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, or competent enough. Sadly, we have lots of help at this as so many people—even those who love us—find endless opportunities to “help us improve” by pointing out our failures and blemishes. Rather than helping us improve, this feedback often simply reinforces our negative views of self. Proving we’re not enough.

Voss gently guides the reader through ten powerful statements that many people refuse to make about the person they see in the mirror, such as “I am good,” “I am capable,” or “I am wise.”

Using personal examples and encouraging the reader to focus on her own experiences showing wisdom, capability, helpfulness, and loving, Voss helps the reader focus on the real person God created before the doubts, criticisms, and jealousies of others diminished her self-esteem and confidence.

Can If I Could Tell You One Thing Help?

Voss’s book will help you, or someone you love, reconnect with the beautiful, capable, powerful person God created. Though a bit pricey for an ebook at $14.99, it’s still a great value if it helps you accept and utilize your inherent talents and abilities. It appears to be available only in pdf format at this time.

Give yourself or someone you love the opportunity to live the life God intended with this wonderful little reminder of the greatness of each person.

For more information visit the home page of If I Could Tell You One Thing.

Full Disclosure: I’m not affiliated in any way with Voss or her book, nor do I profit from the sale of her book. I simply like this book and sincerely believe it can be a blessing to many people.

Choosing the Right Career Path

 Goal Setting, Personal Development, Plans, Success  2 Responses »
Oct 262011
 
Success Ladder image

Flikr user aloshbennett, cc

Consider yourself fortunate if you’re among the very few whose life work is fulfilling, satisfying, and enjoyable. Sadly, most people are unhappy in their jobs. But how do you pick the right work for you? As a young person, or someone starting over, how do you decide which path to take?

Jack Lundee  submitted a potential guest article which got me thinking about this topic, even though I’ve chosen not to use the article intact. Jack’s topic was the common situation of a young person studying a particular discipline in college or other schooling, but then evolving into an entirely different career (possibly more than one). Lundee’s point was that this happens commonly, and people can be highly successful despite doing something for which they did not receive specific training.

Knowing Your Strengths and Weaknesses

This reminded me of the importance of knowing our strengths and passions, and carving out lifetime work that makes the most of each. The researchers of positive psychology have identified validated means for each of us to identify and capitalize on our strengths. Best of all, the information is widely available and affordable. Whether you do best with a book, a class, or self-assessment questionnaires, these vehicles are available and easily utilized.

Though anyone with a strong sense of self-awareness will eventually come to understand what they’re really good at, the strengths which help them excel, this process, left to its own, can take many years. The process can be accelerated by taking  strength self-assessment questionnaires available online or reading a good book devoted to finding your strengths. I’ll identify the online questionnaires and books I recommend ..

Benefits of Using Your Strengths

The benefits to a person’s career and life-happiness can be immense. Those fortunate enough to have lives well-aligned with their strengths and passions are known to be happier, more successful, and healthier—goals common to most of us.

What you might apply yourself to in your personal and professional life is not so important as whether whatever you select gives you the opportunity to utilize your strengths and experience your passions. In my own case, I studied engineering, a relatively good choice given how little I knew of myself, but my analytical and evaluative strengths allowed me to do well in my studies as well as my early engineering career.

Other strengths took hold later in my career, after being promoted into engineering management. There, my strengths of fairness, judgment, insight, and teamwork helped me to lead effective teams. Gradually, I evolved into coaching for improved on-the-job performance, and then into life coaching for greater happiness and satisfaction, again using combinations of my strengths.

The point here is that our strengths, once known and well-polished, enable us to do many things successfully. In fact, the variety of new challenges and responsibilities is energizing and satisfying, providing personal and professional growth in areas we can’t possibly foresee in our youth.

Regardless of your stage of life, get to know the real you, your strengths, passions, and—best of all—your life purpose.

Resources for Finding Your Strengths

This article, Build Your Personal Growth Plans Around Strengths, elaborates on processes for finding your strengths and identifies two online self-assessment questionnaire sites and two outstanding books for finding your strengths.

My highly rated Sample Personal Development Plan eBook recognizes the importance of strengths in personal development by including finding your strengths as one of the foundational modules of growth.

What is Life all About? How do I Find my Purpose? is the latest in the Personal Growth Resources series of personal growth books. Other books in the series include:

Watch for future articles on this site. Better yet, Subscribe to Your Purposeful Growth Update by email.

Jerry Lopper – Personal Growth Resources

Build your life on a foundation of purpose

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